today was band practice. i mean i love it! but its just that once again

and when we play some wrong stuff janine would say "what are you playing?!" or "what note is that?!" i would have said THAT IS THE SAME SHIT FUCKED UP NOTE YOU PLAYED WHEN YOU WERE SEC 1, 13 YEARS OLD FUCKER !%$^#@$!#@!! i am NOT upset with janine because obviously, this has nothing to do with her. but wth man, i cant play the trombone for nuts. im not as good as wenyuan, which in any case i dont need to compare to her to feel inferior, i suck at music, and its been 2 months and i cant play a proper note. i thought within like 2 months at least i could play a proper note!!

and in class, ms choo was talking about stoical people or something like that. stoical people believe in fate(like god) while non stoical people believe in free will.

i would basically say i believe in both. not everything is up to fate! and christine, knowing that im a christian, turned to me and said "SCREW PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN FATE" SCREW HER!!! what the fuck is her problem? i know i shouldn't be swearing but SERIOUSLY! i mean i feel like my religion is insulted, ON PURPOSE. if she did it on accident, whatever, but ON PURPOSE?!?!

i didn't even insult molly's religion. i thought she was a christian so i said all those things to her as i thought we're all one christian family and should share the same beliefs. only after telling her all those stuff THEN she told me she wasn't christian AN YMORE! i mean i apologised and explained why a million times. molly doesn't even bother about that incident anymore, and we're better friends now! what the HELL is christine's problem?!?! if she doesn't understand what is going on and what i said during the apology to molly and the misunderstanding, THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP.

oh well... i guess that's life.