heard quite a few sad songs today.

one from brian mcfadden, "sorry love daddy". he wrote that song for his children, molly and i think lilly. he divorced with kerry katona(atomic kittens) and had to leave his children. and he's a singer yeah so he travels a lot.

Daddy, he’s got to go away
Cos there’s just no other way to live this through
Someday you’ll understand
This wasn’t what I planned for me and you
Sorry, love Daddy

Everyday is filled with pain
But never feel that you’re to blame
Sometimes life breaks in mysterious ways
I can make it up to you
Believe me I am trying to
No matter what you’ll always be my babies

yeah that's a part of it. made me cry, i feel oh my god sad for brian. was in westlife, was so successful. left westlife to be with kerry. now left kerry. he's not nothing besides delta goodrem.

also listened to miss you like crazy by natalie cole in the taxi. it was on the radio. sad lyrics too.

Even though its been so long
my love for you keeps going strong
I remember the things that we used to do
A kiss in the rain till the sun shine through
I tried to deny it but I'm still in love with you

I can see the love shining in your eyes
And there comes a such a sweet surprise
If seeing's believing it's worth the wait
So hold and tell me it's not too late
We're so good together, we starting forever

and westlife's mandy and the rose. gosh, its so sad, mandy. and now im going for tuition, in a sad mood. although it's not quite a bad day today. brian's song, sorry love daddy, went deep in my heart and cut it through. ARGHHHH!

sometimes life breaks in mysterious ways...

saturday was well.. a sad day. especially saturday night.

my whole extended family was celebrating my grandpa's birthday. so my family got their the earliest. a big table to ourselves, just waiting for the other families. my dad was smoking. my mum was dont know where doing dont know what.

so i sat next to my bro. and in the car i was listening to "How do I live" by leanne rimes. and i dont know why, its a love song, but i thought of my bro.

im gonna miss him so much, next year when he goes to NS.

i asked "korkor, how if we ever lose contact"

he said "nah, we won't"

and i said "we might. like when you go to NS, i'll be mugging through my secondary school year. and when you come back during the weekends. i'll be in CCA and tuition. sunday i'll be in church. and after a few months when you go overseas to study i'll be mugging through JC. then before you come back, i'll be flying overseas to study. and what if we lose contact then"

he said "you're the kind of person that would cling onto me before i board the plane"

yeah, true. but you know, it keeps me thinking. my bro has always been there for me, supported me in whatever i do. be it join band, or do stuff behind mummy's back. he comforts me, and he teaches me lots of things. who's gonna comfort me or guide me through the hardest part of my life yet. my rebellious stage. that would be when im most confused, when i need him to guide me and stuff. but he won't be there. its like losing an idol..

so he allowed me, during his NS period when he comes back during the weekends, start talking to him like im stark-raving mad until he goes to sleep. so i can tell him everything that happened. oh i dunno.

but im so excited! I BOUGHT WESTLIFE'S "LIVE AT WEMBLEY" DVD! I'VE BEEN WANTING A WESTLIFE CONCERT DVD SINCE LIKE FOREVER! i actually wanted a tour dvd BUT A CONCERT DVD IS CHEAPER AND GOOD ENOUGH! its got "dont cha" inside. the one that i love.

and my dad says ant and dec are crap. THEY'RE NOT! THEY'RE ME IDOLS! speaking of idols, i downloaded britain's got talent 2 ep 2 to watch. but im revising for my french now. ARGGHHHH.

dorcas' been an idiot to me recently. i mean that's not a brush off statement. just that i've no time to type now.

ciao.

i think the reason why people pay more attention in lang arts class, is because we all respect ms choo.

we not only like ms choo, we respect her. ALL of us admits that, she's very respectable. and i love her as my lang arts teacher!

the reason is why many people dont pay attention in mrs lee's class is that she hasn't gained our respect. lots of people, not just cheng mun, christine rachel ang rachel goh and I don't pay attention. many others too. just that mrs lee doesn't realise it, what a pity.

the thing i so hate about mrs lee is that she beats around the bush and takes us on a guilt trip. when ms choo is angry, she either controls it or loses it and tells us to shut up or get out. something like that. and after awhile she's fine.

mrs lee? oh god, dont get me started. she makes us feel so guilty, the problem is we dont. she say everytime we're talking she refers to us as the "back row". and there are good students who aren't talking sitting at the back row. and she says we've brought the whole row down. yeah right! those who weren't talking knew obviously they weren't the ones getting scolding. and mrs lee keeps hinting its us that everybody knows, not just the back row. and says she does this so that we wont be embarrassed. oh whatever, i'd rather she call out our names.

and today she kept stressing the words "WHAT I'VE PROMISED" she gave us the zuo wen title and said "zhe shi wo da ying ni men de" that is totally redundant. really, it sounds odd with the zhe shi wo da ying ni men de. because she wants us to know what she promises, she does. but we dont.

i wish she'd stop with all the bullshitting. but yes, i have decided to change for the better. although she's being a nasty person. but she is pretty good at times, ya know. and so is my maid now.

she's angry because i wanted to eat green bean soup and i asked for less dinner. she said cannot and crapped out some shit like "your mummy and me plan out all already. you cannot have snack because you come home late" and blah blah blah. then i said "i just said i wanted less dinner" and then she say "CANNOT! your mummy and i planned already" i said "she didn't plan and say that i cannot have less dinner" and walked away. that pissed her off.

and then when i said i'd bathe when i come back from tuition, she became angrier. you know she's been working in here for too many years, she takes herself as the boss of the house. like she's my mum, it's her house. she forgot, she's here TO WORK.

napfa was amazing today! a lot of emotion strain on rachel goh and I. because i couldn't do my sit and reach, i failed and i cried. and after that i retook five times to get a C. at least its a C. i got a B for incline pull-up. i was SO mad. the teacher kept telling me that i cannot use one hand to support my body, and wasted so much of my time talking to me, i got so mad i just banged back down on the floor and left.

but i got 220cm for STANDING BROAD JUMP! WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. went to waffle town with christine, rachel goh, yolanda and esther. without belinda being our mother. feels.. well un-motherly.

and mrs lee talks to us as if we're you know.. we have nothing good in us. those who pay attention in class may not exactly have the best characters or be the best pupils! i think she likes the stereotype nerds, really, i do. well what can i say, she was a nerd when she was young!

cheng mun and I agreed that we didn't like mrs lee. but im fine with her sometimes. and i signed up for the stanford course! a few guys from stanford university in america are flying over to teach us. its $1300 but with subsidy its $600. not bad! quite cheap, really. considering that it's FOURTY hours. i hope my application is succesful! please, please, please!

i shan't complain anymore. i sound like a complain queen! but i would like to thank god, that i have this sudden awakening to well. do better and be a better student!

i feel terrible today. and yes, i used my noise to cover it up. i kept on laughing loudly in band prac. i didn't really use my noise to cover my despairity or whatever the word, i just did it so after awhile i would be much happier. and it did work.

got reprimanded by mrs lee.. again. it was my fault, i agree. but i wasn't passing notes, at least! i was just lost in a world of my own, drawing and tracing out chinese words from the chinese "ciyu biao".

the thing is, mrs lee doesn't see the improvement christine, rachel ang and I have made. for christine is that she really did study for chinese and payed attention in most classes with rachel ang. for me, i did most of my math work, handed up my physics book and pay attention in lang arts. mrs lee just doesn't see the improvements, and IT IS TRUE that she mostly looks at the people at the back.

belinda and esther talk so much, but they never get called out! why? cause they're not sitting at the back.

i really am trying to change! i have been! the last week i have really been working hard to change. mrs lee doesn't see that either. most statements she made when scolding us were assumed. its only half true. argh.

but i dont feel vulnerable whatsoever. i just feel terrible. im determined to work harder to prove mrs lee wrong, again. she still thinks im a lazy bugger, which i probably am..

CAN'T WAIT FOR HILLSONG CONCERT!

new band teacher mr tan today was great. extremely loose and entertaining. learnt a lot, good teacher. almost kissed wenyuan today. i was holding on to her neck tightly, she fell. i fell second on her! OMG. luckily my hand supported myself on the ground. or else there goes my first kiss! holy shit.

haha yesterday was TERRIBLE! but yesterday night was whooopeeee rocked out!

i talked to kate! for a straight 2hrs i think. she told me lotsa stuff which i didn't know about ant and robbie williams. im beginning to wonder, how does ant get along with dec. kate says they're really close friends. but they're so different. in many ways. and dont get me started 'bout dec and robbie. weirder. i dont like robbie one bit, he's weird. kate agrees with me!

dec's really sweet. like a childish boy sweet. im so lucky to know kate. who knows ant and dec. and i can trust her, really. as in i know she doesn't lie to me that she knows ant and dec! that's one thing for sure.

i think whenever people talk about simon cowell and the singers and bands he manages, people will think of westlife? isn't it? like whenever there's a slideshow of all the groups simon manages, westlife is always there. good thing, tho.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT RACHEL GOH IS GOING TO LONDON ON THE 23rd MAY! NO FAIR! i wanna go and buy that ant and dec dvd! ARGHHHHHHHH!

belinda's lending me her Face to Face cd. i did have it, i swear! but i know my mum threw it away cause she didn't like it.

mow, nat, and I are going to hillsong's concert in singapore! its only $5. i mean, they are a christian band. the best music comes from god, always. rachel goh was supposed to come with us, but SHE'S GOING TO LONDON THAT DAY. arghhhhh! very few christians in our class. strong christians, lesser. like yun ru "im a christian but i dont go to church. i also dont believe that only christians go to heaven" in a very spiteful manner.

if im not wrong, only mow, nat, rachel goh and I are true christians. probably more just that i dont know them well. natalie goes on the comp just to listen christian songs :S god i wish i could be like her, but i have ant and dec and westlife!

for once, i actually think simon cowell is fit. what's happening to me?!?! he's 48 lol!

i saw terri and joelle in the bus stop. saw janine on the way to the bus stop. since when did janine say hi to people :P. terri didn't go to my haunted house! she went to the 2SE's one! haha, what a loser. cause ours was better! queue so much longer! AHAHAHAHAH. although i quite like the shaw hall one.

watching this is your life- simon cowell now.

my bro's being an ass now. i hate him when he's being an ass. cause he really is an ass when he's one.

well come to think of it, who likes asses?

i dunno what's gotten into him. is it eunice? he's lovedrunk. once again, i guess. sad case. and to think of it, next year he's going to NS. arghhhhh.

oohooohooh! and i realise i always obsess over people with weird accents!

like ant and dec, geordie accents. most people dont get it.

hoho, worse. westlife, irish accents. even brits dont get it. its only the irish people who get it. but all of us fans try to understand. some times half half. sometimes all.

shane likes to say fuck. i realise. fucked up, fuck it, fuck off. whatever. i mean in a nice and laughy manner. but its still fuck! i wonder if they're christians. im watching another of westlife's documentary.

gunna buy their concert DVD, from what the people at thecommitted.net say, its brill. so yeah, i guess im gonna buy it! if i have the money. :D:D:D

ohohoh and dwayne johnson. understandable accent, but its the.. well... you know that accent about him. you find it in i think some group of americans. i dunno.

I LUUUUUUUUUVE WESTLIFE! nicky drives me crazy, btw. he's hotttt. with many t's.

ahahaha! been going to thecommitted.net!

and this is what i found. back home has beaten coast to coast according to number of weeks in the top 5 spot! WHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!

Top Sellers in Southern Asian States : 1- Michael Learns - Paint My Love : 2,405,000 copies 2- Whitney Houston - Bodyguard : 1,920,000 copies 3- Celine Dion - Let's Talk About : 1,595,000 copies 4- Westlife - Coast To Coast : 1,405,000 copies Details : South Korea 200,000 Taiwan 150,000 Hong Kong 20,000 Singapore 75,000 Malaysia 100,000 Thailand 100,000 Philippines 160,000 Indonesia 600,000 Total 1,405,000

wow i cant believe coast to coast sold 75,000 in singapore! westlife was the hip thing back then, ya know. everybody was CRAZYYYYY over them. you're not cool if you dont like westlife kinda thing. but whatever, now they're gone from singapore. although they're doing pretty well i think!

and shane has been kicked out of the bedroom by his wife once! :O:O:O! nicky, married to georgina, daughter of the president. or something like that. wow! mark's gay, pity tho. im starting to find him a lil bit of a hunk. kian's getting married. soon. says he wont have strippers in his stag night! too classy for that, says mark of kian. WHOOOOOOOOTS! i think even ant has strippers in his stag night?

I LOVE WESTLIFE! although i find it hard understanding their irish accents. but now im pretty used to it. pretty nice. i think nicky's voice... sexy? i dunno. i think so.

DEC IS A CHARMER! i swear. he really is. "you ol' charmer" ant said to him when he gave madonna decena that tissue. dec's so cute. *swooning*.

wow im actually obsessed with so many people. westlife and ant and dec. ahahahaha! i've barely touched my homework! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

whooooooots! in the comp lab right now, having CS lesson. yolanda and huifen are busy. watching basketballers. i guess. eunice is looking at senior jovel's blog. im shocked, by jovel. i thought she was 'the un-bitch'. pubs and smokes. boyfriends and... God? she ends the post talking about God. when she smokes. talks about suicidal. ahhhhh!

cant stand the way christine's trying to imitate the american accent. whatever. dont like zack and cody. well i do but not enough to go crazy. they're cute tho. zack's pretty hot. i think? christine and me, rachel goh, yolanda and belinda are having a fit. i dunno. what's happening. but she'll get over it, she always does, doesn't she?

ummmm, yeah so i guess that's it? i think im starting to act like my bro. he does this all the time. "whooots! im in the chem lab now. haha, ponning" yep, that's what he says. and i said "whooooots! in the comp lab right now" see the similarity? I LOVE MY BRO:D:D:D:D:DD

im starting to hear a lot about the 4GR seniors. i dunno what's up either? i dint know they were like that. pretty confused. but haaaaaappy!

im going back to OLGC today! ahahahahaha. feels good to be in power. im gonna help the cheerleading group. i was the housecaptain last year, you know:D:D:D:D:D

im utterly disappointed by my bro. there was no drummer in the SF worship on sunday, because? HE WAS NOT THERE. where was he? at the hawker centre with? EUNICE. i cannot believe it! i mean, this is how i hated nic. i remember. and now, i dislikes eunice. eunice ho. yes, ic can say that. what right do i have to dislike my bro's gf. but i do. like how i DISLIKEDDDDDD with a DDD nic. but now i miss nic. but i hate eunice. well i dont.

i just dont like the fact that because of her, my bro didn't talk to me. on saturday. because? HE WAS BUSY WITH HER. and... HE SKIPPED SF WORSHIP. i never in the world would imagine that. is this a case of jealousy? i dunno!! argh, i hope it isn't. it'll just put my bro in a fit. i asked him "korkor, do you think eunice is the one?" he said "yeah, i do. it just feels right"

and i said "well didn't you think nic was the one at that time" and he said "its complicated. for some reasons, no i didn't." and he asked me to stop asking weird questions.

i dont think eunice is "the one". i hope not. i felt like crying when dorcas smsed me that she saw my bro with eunice. and roan's mum said "yi ge liang ge dou you nu peng you" that is so degrading to my bro! when he's not that "yi ge liang ge". i felt so hurt, by what my bro did. not to me, but just what he said. i was utterly disappointed i felt like crying. ARGHHHHH!

im pissed now, like huifen:D:D

I CANT WAIT! going to olgc to help out with the cheerleading group. i WAS the house captain after all :D:D:D

it feels good to be in power, you know. people listening to you. although this time im just helping my vice house capt, this year house capt. they listen to me, you know. and cheryl houng was shocked i was in SCGS. who would've thought. a person like me, in SCGS.

sc has indeed changed me a lot in many ways. i learn how to give and take. there have been many hiccups, but in the end we give and take. that's one important thing i didn't have in primary school.

although its pretty demoralising. always being amongst the last in class. but hey, whatever!

OMG, THE SC CARNIVAL WAS SUCH A SUCCESS! long queues in every stall.

THE HAUNTED HOUSE WAS MORE OF A SUCCESS. there was a queue of 80 people continuously from 10.30 to 4.30. AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

the haunted house itself was SO scary. i was with rachel goh, the faceless ghost. which even freaked me out. the first group screamed their lungs out and refused to crawl through the tunnel. second group was scolding hokkien vulgarities. and EVERYBODY screamed. that's what attracted the crowd cause they could hear loud screams.

there were many groups of people that came out crying. like this group of 7 peeps, all 7 came out crying. and a group of 8 people. 5 of them cried and left halfway. the other 3 completed but cried. its so scary i can't type out how scary it is!

the boys are just perverts. they took pictures of the naked barbie dolls. and some TOUCHED me. they deliberately touched rachel goh and I. DAMMIT.

and when i was hanging there, trying to scare a guy. the guy said "yo, how's it hanging" LOL, it was SO lame, seriously. some guys are so gay, they screamed their lungs out. dint eat breakfast or a proper lunch. had a proper dinner at least.

THE HAUNTED HOUSE WAS SOOOOOOO SCARY! AHHHHHHHHHHH! especially pei yi, kelly the senior, kiran and rachel goh. SOO HAPPY! call me sadistic, but i was so happy when i heard more and more screams and cries. like there was this "chorus of tears" where the 7 children were all crying at the same time. my god, it felt great for the haunted house to be such a success.

although i dint collect my $15 tee shirt and my cupcakes and my jellyhearts. UGHH. but it was SO worth it. the seniors put in so much effort in it!

Just some random thought. i hate bullies.
they destory people and hearts and dignity and everything.
they suck.
although i've never been bullied before, wanted to type a long list of crap but now im late for tuition.
ciao.

I AM SOOOOO HAPPY TODAY!

mrs goh showed the class a britain's got talent video during music class in the imac lab! OMG, BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT! WITH ANT AND DEC! i kept screaming,AND SCREAMING! my god, I LOOOOOOOOOVE ANT AND DEC.

and then while walking home, i realised a lot of things i used to do as a child. i used to watch "Survivor" with my bro. we would all watch with anticipation to see who gets kicked out. i remember JP Caulderon from there.

i remember there was once my mum was cooking, and she asked us to buy bubble tea. so my bro and I went to the market. there was this one for one promotion. normally my bro and i would buy mango ice blended, but we had to choose one more flavour. so we chose peach, and that was when my craze for peach ice blended started.

oh dear, i remember lots of things with my bro innit! and i have decided to be smart! everytime in the car my bro would be talking some chim stuff with my father and discussing about some intellectual stuff which I DO NOT GET AT ALL.

talking about my bro, christine was INSULTING my bro today. i was just... ANGRY. i told her not to hate her bro, and to talk to him. she said "my bro's very busy. UNLIKE YOURS" yeah right, unlike mine?

my bro's in vjc. he has polevault training. he's the church drummer, always having rehearsals. he's just so outgoing when he's free he's either playing comp, going out with venron(which most of the time he does) or studying. but i still talk to him! like when i sleepover in his room.

then christine said that she didn't like my bro because he loves to like girls and her bro doesn't. big deal! it shows that my bro's sociable, that's all. he's really mature, i know that.

when i talk about my bro, i dont insult other people's bro man. i wish she'd just bugger off. she makes everyone feel extra because she only talks to rachel goh. i mean most of the time with rachel goh. that's why im just drifting away. and she barely cares about me.

but its still a happy day today! im watching "Can westlife cut it?" on youtube. its about them trying to do country singing in Nashville.

I LOVE WESTLIFE AND ANT AND DEC!

im just obsessed over them, although i dont show it much in school like i used to in pri. school.

westlife's accent is really hard to understand, they're irish. although after listening to them after a long time, i get used to it.

that's the same thing that happened with me and ant and dec. the first time i heard them, i thought omg are they french or something? grew to LOVE THEM after a week. they're geordie, btw. newcastle-rs. which is geordie.

ANT AND DEC ARE CRACKING AMERICA!whoohooo the americans demanded a second series of "wanna bet?" because it was so good. but ant and dec are quitting ant and dec's saturday night takeaway. noooo, what am i gunna watch!!

WESTLIFE SINGING COUNTRY! that's what im listening to. at least they're trying to sing country. but to no avail. they just dont have the country voices. although i must say i've grown kinda attached to country music. well not really. but i would like to hear more country music if i had the time. westlife just have that kind of "you raise me up" and "my love" kind of voices. not the kind of rock like "sweet child o mine" or anything else. it'll just be weird. westlife are pop anw.

I AM GOING TO LONDON IN SEC 3! I SWEAR. if i take full lit. i heard. and if im selected. not just going to london, going to uk. so in two years time if i get selected, i will DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY tell aisha!

i'll be like "aisha! guess what, i may be going over to your place!" lol she probably wont get it until i explain it to her. and then she'll be "good on ya. so i can stop pitying you!" or stuff like that.

she pities me cause i cant see ant and dec. any day near. EXCEPT FOR THE WORLD'S GOT TALENT!! WHOOOOOOOOOOTS. im gunna tell christine and the rest when the world's got talent start, cause ant and dec are the hosts!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

extremely sad after listening to 'happy ending' to mika. thanks to my bro AGAIN.

the book 'the child called "it" ' and the second one "the lost boy" and the last book "a man named dave" are just the saddest books around.

the life of a tortured child. tortured by his mother. abused badly. his father was his hero. until one day his father divorced with the crazy mother. his life shattered. then he finally got on to a foster home. did lots of things to try to be "in" like stealing and stuff. a very confused boy. grew up being confused.

when he was 16, he wanted so badly to see his father. finally he found him, just that his once strong father was weak and dying. and his father asked him to think about "the household and crazy mum" as a nightmare. his father looked pathetic. how it broke his heart. he said "i love you, dad." in the end.

how he was tortured is just UNIMAGINABLE! i cant stop crying after listening to happy ending. it suits the scene where dave met his father so well. i really feel like crying.

and listened to "can you feel the love tonight". its a nice song. but can be sad. like when you're sitting alone, and listening to that song, feeling sad. and think to yourself "no, i cant feel the love tonight" MY GOD, why am i listening to sad songs?!!?

I THINK WESTLIFE IS DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM HOT. especially nicky byrne:D:D

christine, oh no, has just reminded me of how much i miss ant and dec.

just a few months ago, i was CRAZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYY, all i talked about was ant and dec, i wanna fly to london, i wanna become as famous as them blahblahblah. now i had that under control for quite awhile, until both christine and aisha rubbed it in.

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM THEBOX.BZ, youtube videos all deleted, WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG!?!?!?!?! and then aisha just HAD to put "O.M.G who watched britain's got talent on ITV1?! fucking brilliant again"

she's in london! its no fair!
why does she get to be in london WHILE I DONT.

and then she was talking about writing the fanfic and nobody commenting she said "we decided to sod 'em and continue writing" lol random. just wondering. aisha looks indian. not sure if she is, dont wanna ask, may be offensive you know!

I LUUUUUUUUUVE AISHA! at least im glad she gives me all ant and dec recent updates! she prayed for my math test! although im pretty sure she doesn't know what it's all about. of course, she's IN LONDON. and I'M IN SINGAPORE. no fair!

i keep dreaming of being as famous as ant and dec and being their good friends. really, i do. honestly, that's what's distracting me from june 2007 after watching bgt 1. now its bgt 2. wow time passes fast.

RONAN KEATING WAS HOT! WAS! now he really sucks. but nevertheless a good singer! WESTLIFE STILL ROCKS MORE!

GOOOOOOOOOOO ANT AND DEC!

i suddenly miss nic.
i dont know if i should tell the story of nic, but one year with her is enough. i miss her so much. just the life i used to live when she was around.
now that she's in america, i miss her. i really do. i used to hate her. now i miss her.
oh gosh, tomorrow's the history test.
lol how random am i:D

i think my bro's one of the greatest guys ever. and im not just saying that.
i dont just look up to anybody, i dont just respect ANYBODY.

in fact, i hardly respect anyone. yeah, that's bad i know.

but i don't know why do i look up to my bro so much! he got 258 for PSLE, he got 4 points for 'O' levels and he says he wanna study piloting in australia.

he got 2nd in the nationals for pole vault before, he cycles, swim extremely fast. he has ENORMOUS muscles. which im actually very fascinated with.

he's so romantic. he really is. speaking of romantic, i kinda miss nic. but he says i shouldn't. cause she's screwed. but i think i just miss nic being at our house everyday. yeah anw. my bro is romantic BEYOND IMAGINATION. yes, that's the word. lots of things he does, just to long to type them out.

my bro is so mature. for a guy. yeah, hell yeah he is. i mean, its hard to explain. both in words and in the blog. he's just a very mature, not exactly sensible, guy. its hard to find mature guys around. he's mature beyond his age.

he treats me so well. and isn't embarrassed to bring me out, like most bro's do. i can hold his hand in public. he doesn't mind. i can talk to him on whatever i want. girl stuff, guy stuff. problems. whatever. just talking. and if i dont see him for a day, I WILL DIE. and that's why i hate saturdays! i only see him for an hour! gosh, im obsessed over my bro! everybody knows that. before anyone really knows me, the first thing they know about me(besides my name and stuff) is my MAGNIFICENT bro.

he leads such an interesting life. nic in america, going through lots of stuff screwing up and all, aruna the pure, eunice ho the female version of him. he's just so fascinating! he does lots of crazy stuff with venron and me.

for example, during chinese new year. my bro, venron and I went out together at night. since our parents were visiting some people. and we went to macs first, and then walked along the roadside.

venron was talking about fiona and saying how he broke up with her and stuff. serves fiona right, i thought. stupid bitch, although i dont know her. he says he wanna give her some limited edition $140 thing for a farewell gift. he says this is what fiona will do "you break my heart? i break your disc!" LOL. so lame.

so my bro and I pretended to be ghosts in the roadside. he just stood still. every car that passed by, we would slowly tilt our heads and stare at them. LOL. must've scared the SHIT out of them.

last week he just got called into the discipline master, principal, vice principal and form teachers room at the same time. for trying to climb from one level to another. not by stairs but by climbing and jumping around from one statue to another and stuff. a little wild in the head i must say, sneaked out at 12am to 4am to watch a movie during new year. i couldn't go, wanted to cry, tho :D

he's just some ego maniac. keeps on saying "damn! im good!" and saying "mummy, when you grow up. dont worry. cheryl and I will make so much money. you can fly to paris for breakfast. shopping in france. probably high tea in spain. can go to korea for a stroll before going to london to visit cheryl. coming to america to visit me. all in a day, wow. i think i shall book you a private jet" LOL , the cheek of him!

he plays the drums real well. he is so pro, he doesn't need to look at scores anymore. he just listens to the songs and plays them out. wow that's pro. he's the church drummer. he barely practices and just plays on that day. how pro.

although i do feel inferior, im so proud to have a brother like him! i prefer showing off about him then me! :D:D:D he said i shouldn't.

and christine suggested i buy the shirt from 3GR that says "the boy beside me is my brother. not my boyfriend" I TOTALLY SHOULD! people always get the wrong idea. my mum said sooner or later his future girlfriend would mistake me as his secret girlfriend :S:S

and he's so open! too open! he talks about disgusting stuff. which probably isn't meant for me to hear! ARGHHHH. he taught me the word fuck when i was k2. and what it meant. lol. he was stupid in p6, i cant blame him.

one more year and im not going to see him anymore! he says he'll be going to NS in january, cause that's when all the smart people go. another ego example!

enough of showing off! god, i think i show off too much, really.

and mrs lee thinks im a lazy bugger. because of other subject teachers complaining. a little annoyed by that. i am working hard now! currently! im not a lazy bugger. im just having a hard time. a real hard time. emotionally, physically, mentally. whatever! even in church and in class. haunted house group having some conflicts. i dunno what to do.

elton john coming to singapore! air supply too! according to cheng mun. OH MY GODDDD. i wanna watch elton john! can anything get better than going to elton john's concert? i ALMOST had the chance to go to the eagles live concert, but my mum gave it to my bro :@:@.

went to westlife concert in 2000 or 2001 if im not wrong. missed the chance last year! probably not gonna miss it in 2010! WESTLIFE, COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

ANT AND DEC, HERE I COMEEEEEEEEEEEE!
RHYDIAN, HERE I COMEEEEEEEEEEE!
LEON JACKSON, freaking bugger off. let rhydian have the winner's throne.

i think i blabber nonsense when im sad. gosh, looking back at my previous posts. some posts were just nonsense. some were well.. just sad.

this week has been a pretty hard week. a lot of dramatic changes. i am FINALLY starting to pay attention in class. after a really long time of slacking.

i got 35/50 for physics! should i say yay or boo? i think its a yay. i dont think im average or above, although i hope so, but at least i tried my best. its a good thing, yeah. waiting to receive lang arts test back, i really dont wanna do too badly. *crosses fingers* and im not last in class for geog anymore! im like 3rd last! WHICH IS GOOD, OKAY. i mean christine was like laughing and saying "well you got a 3/10 and dint you say "haha, i dont care?" "

the fact is i do care, i went home feeling terrible. i didn't cry. but because of that 3/10 i felt terrible for ONE whole week. i just didn't show it. at all. i mean you cant expect me to burst into tears or show a sad face all the time, right? im not putting on a strong front. just well, live and let die, ya know?

but i shall work hard!i really dont wanna be kicked to another class.
merged with 4GR for the haunted house. yunru wasn't quite happy with the idea.
she said she didn't mind the idea but "where we find the time, and is they not enough people lo"

that clearly showed that she minded the idea! she was even "actually.. im the leader.. so if want to merge or not also my decision leh" HUH? how could anyone appoint herself as the leader? i mean yes, she DID come up with the idea. but she's not the leader! we're just working together.

yunru doesn't know it, but i can tell she's very against the merging idea, and i dont know why.

had a french test today. i didn't study. i didn't know half of the questions. actually more than half. i only knew TWO. wow, amazing aint it.

saturday was FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! went out with t-bones seniors, wenyuan and leanna to the indoor stadium to watch some syf military band.

the trip there was so funny. janine was being uber lame. im glad im not as lame as her:D:D, or am i? i got stuck behind the bus doors! OUCH. and my bag got caught in between the machine. *embarrassed* my head knocked into cheese fries. LOL wenyuan and i acted gay half the time. but its okay :D:D:D

THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HAS ARRIVED. BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT STARTED LAST SATURDAY! IT WAS AMAZING! especially with ANT AND DEC! i loved it! ITS BETTER THAN BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT 1. favourites were andrew johnson, craig harper, gin the dog and scala. and DONALD! oh how can i forget Deaf Donald! everybody should watch the magnificent, magnificent show! WHOOOOOOOOTS.

im finally not the "emo" anymore. ANTI AMERICAN-EMO HERO, MAN.

i still feel terrible. although better from yesterday.
yesterday was just hysterical.
lots of crying and helplessness.
but now that's over.

got 24/30 for my math. it sucked. i mean, it wasn't too bad. but it was below average, and second lowest in class. im not the only second lowest in class, eunice and lots of other people are with me. lowest in class 23. what a shame, im 0.2 MARKS TO MY A1!

i felt like shit, i wanted to cry. because i've dragged sy down, once again. everybody has got an A1!!!!!! EXCEPT MEEEEEEEE! its not fair. i did study!

and the physics teacher still dislikes me. because i dont pay attention in class, and i dont ask questions. unlike christine

im like really jealous of christine. i've never felt to inferior. both of us got 260. she started off the same as me, a little worse in fact. and now she's above me. i mean, the physics teacher likes her, she's been getting better and better results. but how about me? why am i not improving.

its not fair when we both get 260 and she's doing so much better. she was pretty smug about yesterday. she smiled and said "cheryl, you know the teacher kept on looking at you, right" referring to mrs lee wanting to complain to my parents thing. why be smug? i felt SO terrible, i felt like... like shit. and i still do, today. because everybody in the haunted house like esther, belinda, christine, natalie and yolanda and i couldn't. because i plainly had tuition. its always tuition!

i cant go to sectional lunch because of tuition! i cant do this and that because of tuition. i dont feel suffocated really, i just keep feeling like the odd one out. im working pretty hard yet nobody realises my efforts. christine sure as hell doesn't. my mum doesn't. practically everyone thinks i slack!

i dont, im starting to get seriously quiet since this week. its always week 2, days 6 to 10 then i realise a lot of stuff. and is always the toughest week to get through, i realise.

im getting more and more withdrawn.

mrs lee is complaining to my mum
that i dont hand up homework at all
and all the subject teachers are complaining.
wow, how great.

i mean normally i would say, "they're not giving me enough time to change"

but now, after thinking, its me. all my fault.

i've been given so many opportunities. since young. not to copy answers, to stop slacking. and it never works although i've been bitten more than twice. not "once bitten twice shy" its "always bitten never shy" and i dont know what to do!

i am determined to change. and time will tell it all. im not proving others wrong, im proving nobody wrong. im just working hard to do myself proud. and not let mummy down. i seriously will pray tonight, pray hard in fact, that i will stop slacking, like i am now.

oh my god, i feel so messed up.

im so proud of myself, because im finally getting to a good end on the peranakan proj. well at least for my chapter.

i only left 2 parts for my chapter on the peranakan project, and i've added half the pictures. so all im left with is to make the layout neater, ask my mum to go to her office and help me do a booklet!! friday staying to combine all the stuff we've written. and then i will go home and edit the whole layout into one because four people, surely four different layouts. and then i must finish the poster. and then wala! im done.

but i must finish the poster by today! :@:@:@:@

so tonight i must do my i dunno what dunno what dunno what. imovie project and peranakan project and lots more things! OH NO! so many things to do, im still blogging:D

need to go to tuition in 5 mins, haven't packed my bag. marylin's in tuition too:D which makes it at least a little less boring. last week we put popcorn near jack's butt and he sat on it!!!!

today's math test, was pretty easy i must say. but i cant be too confident, because i know i already lost a few marks. im just crossing my fingers, hoping i get 25/30. PLEASE!!

i got lots of physics to do. i have to revise my history for next week's test. i cannot lag behind by too much, okay!! im already last in class for history too! two week's ago was just a bad week, overall. so im determined to make this a GRRRREAT term with GRRREAT results and... well yeah

i dunno what to do for next week's history. i dunno what to revise. or what to memorise. korkor dint want to help me with my math on sunday when i was DESPERATELY asking him for the answer. mummy was watching some korean drama, i didn't know she's addicted to dramas! a person like her who loves watching action movies and the person that she is, i bet daddy influenced her to!

daddy always helps me with physics, and then he gets a lil bored of helping me so he goes to sleep. along with mummy. and im left in the room doing my work, disrupting their peaceful sleep. and i have no idea what am i talking about. so i slept at 12 midnight on sunday, SO PROUD OF MYSELF! i have never EVER studied until 12 midnight! wow, lots of records broken in sec 1! especially for studying :D:D:D

mummy INSISTS that i dont need english tuition. i begged her to sign me up for british council, and she did! and after awhile cancelled it before it even started. STUPID! i coulda seen some british guy teacher ya know. it IS, after all, british council! :D:D

i dunno why have i been so pissed recently. VERY ANGRY and quiet. i dunno why! its just the lack of sleep i guess. and i hope i get to see mrs ng someday, really.

and its 4.16pm now, i haven't packed my bag and stepped out of the house. oh corrected, 4.17pm. im late by 2 mins. and im not worried. because im not even looking forward to it! :S

today was quite an interesting day, i would say? mixed emotions, basically.

started off the morning pretty..well.. annoyed when christine said that she dint like 1SY, i mean i wasn't pissed with her but i was pissed with the sentence. if that makes sense:S

SY-ians have only known each other for 4 months, how "together" can we get? compared to the other classes, of course we're to a disadvantage! but oh well.

then carried on the day feeling bored. when ms choo said SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE US BACK OUR LITERARY ESSAYS! THAT IS NOT FAIR. she has been dragging it for 3 weeks! (1 month, according to ada and cheng mun but i shall put it as 3 weeks) and she's gonna give us back tomorrow

and im having a math test tomorrow. oh great. i dunno how i'll fair. felt pretty demoralised during CS. simply because most people got their 4A1's, and a B and a C. i got ALL B's. well, not really. math lowest in class but STILL! A2, geography A1. history WAS an A1, now a B4 or something.

so basically, i really want all A's. or i'll surely be kicked. cause im amongst the bottom 10 now. BUCK UP, CHERYL.

then i continued being more pissed when christine said that im not studying. IM NOT STUDYING!?!?! AHEMM, i may not study as much as others, but i do study! i have third lang, i have piano, i have trombone, i have my readings i have church. of course that makes a lot less time to do stuff! but everyday i do at least 3 hours of work. on tuesdays it's perhaps 4 1/2 hours! saturdays i have band prac, then i have 2 hours tuition, and then 3 hours of work. i do 5 hours. same goes for sunday.

I DO STUDY. but im not pissed with christine, again pissed with her statement. i wonder why am i rarely pissed with people but with their statements.

but i SERIOUSLY enjoyed CS after the demoralising thing. because i went to youtube and watched a WHOLE WHOLE load of suh-weeeeet! vids. which was awesome.

third lang was boring. as usual. besides the part where i got my test paper back. AWESOOME! A 61!!! WHOOOTS. an ACTUAL ACTUAL 61! although joelle got SEVENTY TWO! 72! SEVENTY TWO! AHHH!

valerie got 651/2 which is 66. which is not fair. but jeanette got ummm, 34. poor her. i bet she's not gonna tell mrs ng she got 34, but instead mr ng.

almost cost nicole to die. it was red light, i insisted on crossing, she almost peed on her pants. so we waited for christine after 3rd lang. for a long time, i think. and then i ended up going to the bus stop while they went to j8! well not really j8, they went to the mrt station, which was in j8! i could've, but long distance. no time. no energy.

today i need to CHEOOOOOONG my math. I MUSTMUSTMUSTMUSTMUST get a 25/30. or i'll seriously be dragging down the whole SY! i dont want that. so i must work extra hard!!

its still unfair that joelle got 72. and jeannette and joelle went into a car before i reached the bus stop to take the bus with them. they left without me :S:S:S

i realise scgs rarely speak singlish. oh wait, they do. i mean scgs are rarely ah lian. well at least the people i know. and most of them have weird names.

like: ada, joelle, chevelle, piramol, hevina. leanne, janine, zinia, smiley(HER REAL NAME) and yeah loads more. just that i have to bathe now and SERIOUSLY start lots of work!

i have just decided to create a list on who's hot.

David Beckham(tho he sucks)

Christiano Ronaldo(i dont like him either)

ANThony mcpartlin(MMMMM!)

DEClan donnelly(MMMMM!)

Shane Filan, Nicky Byrne, Kian Egan and Mark Feehily(ROCKS! altho mark is gay and i dont like him, my mum says he's hot, so oh well)

Jay Brown(ex-5ive member)

Lee Latchford Evans(ex-steps member)

Lee Ryan(ex-blue member)

Rhydian Roberts(best guy you can ever meet!)


actually loads of them im just lazy to type them out cause im going to watch drake and josh now!! HIP, HIP, HOOOOORAY!

now i cant help but think, why do i brag so much. AND WHY AM I SO FREE.

im the only sy-ian that probably has so much free time to blog everyday and watch ricky martin shaking his booty with kylie minogue.

and i dunno what exactly has gotten into me. every night, when i pray in bed, I FALL ASLEEP HALFWAY THROUGH! this has happened consecutively for MORE THAN A WEEK! im sososo SO sorry, dear lord.

and i haven't been listening to the sermons in church ,sososo SO sorry, dear lord, again. and sometimes i feel like skipping BS, sososo SO sorry, dear lord. and there actually have been political gossips going around in CHURCH, sososo SO sorry, dear lord!

There's so many things i need to apologise for! in one short sentence, im a sinner. what can i do?

and Kym's sis, Lynn, IS SOOOOOOSOOOOOOSOOOOOOO PRETTY! I THINK SHE SERIOUSLY HAS THAT RARERARERARE LOOK ABOUT HER! she is dam pretty, really! and i should stop obsessing over her prettiness, before i become lesbian. oh wait, corrected, gay. cause i have just changed sex to male about 2 weeks ago! i am officially a guy! although my 'balls' dropped out. long story, actually..

RICKY MARTIN IS HOTTTT!

hate people who try to act caucasian when they're not.
like iris.
i mean i dont hate her, i just dont like the way she tries to act all caucasian by adding "yo" like "thursday's are cursed, yo" and stuff. also adding "aye" she barely knows that aye means man! i do cause i watch ant and dec:D:D and i know she's using it in the wrong way. LOSER. not that she's a loser, the way she speaks makes her sounds like a loser cause there are so many loopholes in it.

i mean let's face it, she's a freaking bimbo from SJC. not that i have anything wrong with SJC, loads of nice people there i think, but she's just a bimbo! seriously, attractive but no intellect. does she have any intellect, at all? no, i guess not.

i mean i used to dislike rama but at least she's not a bimbo! many people from 6 Faith are turning bimbo. are should i say, ARE bimbo. 6 charity da best! actually no, we also got some bimbos. so its no use comparing.

but germaine's not a bimbo! IM GLAD! but ah lian, she is. but who the hell am i to judge who is twit, ah lian, bimbo or not! stop it, cheryl!

i seriously cant stand the way iris speaks. but i must say, at least she's better than some people out there!

and im having a fever. from the sorethroat. but still proud of myself for coming in SECOND with a SILVER medal. and should i say, SC is rich. lol i cant help saying that, really. plus, the whole school got a skipping rope each! hey it probs just takes like say, $3 for one skipping rope but the whole school including primary?! wow. but i shan't brag no more, im glad there are no bimbos in our class. i mean of course! at most is some ah lians, but not bimbos! but i mean as much as i dislike ah lians, they're pretty nice. most of them, referring to the slightly ah lian ones.

and yesterday, i saw what seemed liked a bunch of whitley guys asking another guy to shoplift. i dunno! i saw that one poor guy trying to beat up a bunch of whitley guys and one whitley guy grabbed the guy by the head and through him onto the shop's shelve. and then i saw some beating up going on and then throwing the poor guy into the shop "Cheers". so i really dont know. but this is like the second time im seeing people get bullied.
one day i should SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY ask my bro to bash them up. they barely have muscles and wanna fight? look at my bro man! oh shit, im bragging again. nevermind, i think its time for me to complete my literary essay.

ciao,

Today is the first sports day in SC i've been to! duh since im sec 1 :D

AND IT ROCKED! like seriously, ROCKEDDDDDDD. nat came in 4th for 100m, WITH THE EXTREMELY FAST SEC 2's LEADING! wow, i dint know sc was so fit lol. georgia was the first among the sec 1's, third in the race.

for 4 times 100, I ROCKEDDDDD THE HOUSEEEEE. SERIOUSLY, WE DID! natalie, jess, sheryl and I!!! we seriously rockeddddd! coming in with second position! WE WERE LIKE SCREAMING TOGETHER AT THE END OF THE RACE. hugging each other, on the verge of tears. cause i thought that if we got a third or fourth position, it would be GGGGREAT. and who knew! we came in second. i was the fourth runner. it started off pretty well with natalie, better with jess, extremely good with sheryl, and ROCKEDDD with me! lol i shant take all the glory.

before the race i was so scared my shoe would drop off! then i wanted to change shoes with rachel goh. which i did, but in the end returned her. and borrowed from yolanda.

WE WAITED AN HOUR! A FULL HOUR, or even more, FOR THE RACE TO START! we were about to do warm-ups when suddenly, they announced for us to go and report. WTH. and we kept switching places. from sheryl first, natalie second, jess third, me fourth to natalie first, sheryl second, jess third, me fourth, to natalie first, jess second, sheryl third and me fourth. so yeah! i totally dint want to give up my fourth runner position.

i think most of the prefects ran suuper fast. which is really, wow. they're prefects, ya know.
and when we went back to our class position, rachel goh, esther, belinda, cristy, and a few more people ran to us and started hugging us LIKE MAD. i was SOOO happy! to at least clinch a medal! nono, not at least, its SO HAPPY TO CLINCH A MEDAL.

and i ran for band. 8 times 50. without the teachers, came in second. with teachers, third. which is such a pisser cause all the teachers were male! like mr razak, mr teo, mr something something and stuff. but yeah, it was great eventually.

speaking about band, tomorrow having my first band concert! SOOO ELATED! i hope i dont screw up. because for many of the songs, trombones and tubas have the 'solos'. so we start together. and trombones are louder than the tubas currently. so if i play the wrong note...

went to macs with christine and cherlyn, bought a drink. nono, in fact, christine bought me the drink. before i drank half. i spilt in. ALL. i dropped it, actually. was SO shocked and partly pissed with myself. and christine went "my two dollars just flew away" LOL!

first, i drop a $50 note, then a $10, then'$2'.
i seriously need to change a wallet.

AND ONE SINCERITY ROCKEDDDD THE HOUSE DOWN! actually we dint cause we dint win at the end, but nevermind, ONE SINCERITY ROCKSSSSS!

today was pretty bad.
SY's been super un co-operative. tomorrow im gonna yell at them. like that shit out of them. probably, quite mean aren't i.

and cheng mun, you're probably gonna read this so i might as well say it here.

KYLIE MINOGUE IS NO WHERE AS SEXY AS RICKY MARTIN! if you see that ricky martin and kylie minogue doing 'livin la vida loca' its actually ricky martin being the more sexed up one. sexy, as he is. he is SO not playboy. kylie changes boys like changing underwear. or bra. dont know which one:S

RICKY MARTIN MOVES REALLY WELL! HE IS HOT, HE ISN'T A FLIRT AND HE IS DAMMMM SEXY! seriously, got the vcd. been watching it for the 10th time since i was young. got that cd since k1. grown up watching it, really. and i mustmustmust say that RICKY MARTIN IS HOT!! AND SEXY! hate to admit it but he's sexier than westlife. although westlife was pretty sexy in the 'dont cha' thing

so cheng mun, DONT EVER THINK KYLIE IS SEXY!!! YOU'RE BEING A SEXIST THATS ALL LOL! and i have no idea what's my whole issue with sexy. :P

and i hope my father will stop smoking and drinking coffee. wherever he goes he's either smoking or getting ready to. people drink 8 cups of water a day he drinks 8 cups of coffee a day. oh no, i really hope he stops it.

GO SY FOR SPORTS DAY!

short post.

i've changed my mind about piramol.
cause its my fault, really.
apologies to piramol. from the heart to heart connection.:D:D