I LOVE DRAKE AND JOSH!

they're shit funny. but besides that, watching drake and josh always brings me lots of memories. i remember watching it when i was pri.5, in fact rushing back to tuition just to watch it. when i've had the worst day ever, i laugh like shit and my parents laugh at me laughing so hard. sighhhhhhhhhhhh. lots and lots of memories, somehow. watching powerpuff girls doesn't even bring me that good memories! and i LOVE powerpuff girls. and dexter's lab!

okay this is so random. i'm starting to play maple again. it's so funny, watching all those sad twits twitting on maple. oh well. i'm just bored.

weekends have been really interesting.

started rehearsing the songs for the laos mission trip today. i've got 32 hymns to master in two weeks. and i think i've mastered... 10 already? i just really loved playing those hymns. somehow. omg i'm back to what i used to do when i was a kid. listen to 'shine jesus shine', just that the lyrics are wayyy more meaningful now. and the power of your love too. i'm actually looking forward to the mission trip. think it's gonna be good!

SATURDAY IS THE EGO DAYYYYYYY!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D see, i'm still egoing about it. and i learnt something too. everybody's jaws are different O.O random but yeah.. i always thought our jaws were all the same. the health ed book in pri.5 or something used to say something like that! oh well, now i know why i always fail health ed.

sunday. had church. then there was this debate and the topic was: Can christians date non-christians? at first look, it seems so shallow and simple. but it's actually a topic worth to debate about. there's no can or cannot, but i think it's not encouraged. my stand has always been as such. my brother was the lsat speaker. everybody's jaw dropped at his speech. sighhhhh, i've lots to do to become like him. but that debate left and impression on me. that's why i finally wrote about an event in church.

then, had piano rehearsal. went there with lydia,chaowang and jongchi. met vincent. then went up together. very, very boring rehearsal.

seems like a boring sunday, but the fact that i spent so little time on the computer really made me happy:D:D:D:D:D:D

AND THAT I'M STILL EGOING FROM SATURDAY!

1. What have you been doing recently?

Slacking on the comp, trying to get myself to exercise but failing terribly, and doing soul-searching:D

2. Do you ever turn your cellphone off?

Nope, not at all. But it's mostly flat, so it doesn't make a difference i guess.

3. What happened at 10am today?

I came out of the bathroom. I remember that so clearly, CAUSE I WAS PISSED I FINISHED BATHING ONLY AT 10AM.

4. When did you last cry?

Ages ago. I don't cry. :O:O maybe last week :(

5. Believe in fate/destiny?

I actually don't know the meaning of fate and destiny lol. but based on my own definition i think it's a no.

6. What do you want in your life now?

Some discipline and motivation.

7. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?

Sometimes?

8. Are you wearing anything borrowed from someone?

Nope, the only thing i always borrow is money.

9. What was the last movie you caught?

The DaVinci Code on the internet, if that counts. but a proper movie would be Madagascar 2:D love it!

10. Does the person know that you like him/her?

Probably.

11. Who always makes you laugh?

ANT AND DEC! JODIE! FIORINA! and band mates, when i'm feeling high:D

12. Do you speak languages other then english?

Chinese, used to speak a little bit of french. je parle francais:P

13. Favourite websites?

YOUTUBE! WESTLIFE FORUM(best place on earth).

14. What are you doing tomorrow?

Gonna try and go jogging, collect passport, rehearse for the laos mission trip and tuition.

15. What do you think you are like?

Naive, temperamental, hyper and lame and weird.

16. Who will you choose to die with?

can westlife be a choice? if not, probably dorcas. or my bro.

17. Where have you been today?

Nowhere, sad isn't it? OH WAIT! i've been to tuition at Sixth Avenue. and went to Guthrie House to buy some ribs.

18. What game do you play often?

I really don't play games. Maybe Maplestory?:P the people there are losers. so fun to play with. haahahhahahaa.

19. Who are you missing right now?

JODIEEEEE!! who's in the uk, having school now. and when i fall asleep, she just comes back from school:(

20. If you had to choose between a friend or a lover, who will you choose?

I'm friggin mean. but i think a lover. but i've never had one, so how would i know?

21. What are you doing now?

Lame =.=

22. Which primary school are you from?

CHIJ-OLGC

23. Name 3 colours that you like.

only 3?!?!?!? orange, green, blue.

24. What emoticon do you like to show?

:D or :P

25. What is your life to you?

Clean.

26. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?

try to.... solve it?

27. What do you do when you’re moody?

Snap at people. And be very rude to my maid:(

28. At which age do you wish to get married?

i don't know. whenever i'm ready? if not, 25-26:D

Who is the most important to you?

My brother:D

38. If today is the last day of your life, what would you do?

think 'HOLY SHIT!' in my mind. and write everyone i love a letter and ask somebody to help me post them.

30. Who is the person you trust the most?

Dorcas.

31. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after rain?

Literally? Duh. i have seen them okay!

32. If you had a dream come true, what would it be?

BEING BRITISH:D or... seing westlife! nah, being british is better! if i'm british, i can see westlife! and ant and dec. and jude law. and jonathan ross. and simon cowell. and diana vickers and alexandra burke. !!!!

33. What is your goal for next year?

More disciplined, more self-control. DO BETTER ACADEMICALLY.

34. Do you believe in eternity love?

It's eternal love btw. hahahahahaha. uh yes i guess?

35. What feeling do you love the most?

HAPPY!! or EXCITEMENT!!:D

36. What feeling do you hate the most?

Loneliness, or confusion.

37. You like doing quizzes?

No.

38. Do you believe in God?

Yes.

39. What do you think is the most important in your life?

Knowing my purpose in life?

40. What will you bring when you fight?

Everything I've got.

41. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?

Shouting at my father that i don't want to be a useless man like him:( still regretting.

42. What would you do if nobody cared for you any longer?

IMPOSSIBLE! hahaha so ego. uhhh, if it really happens which i know it won't, i'll just cry for ages. then get on living.

43. What if your girlfriend/boyfriend two-timed you?

'FUCK YOU! YOU BASTARD!' is what i'll be thinking in my mind. slap him across the face. listen to his explanation a day later. If it still really sucks, goodbye two-timer. i'm not being vulgar! it's truee!

tagged by fiorina. not tagging anybody. i hate quizzes!

i need to correct my post. i did not quarrel with my mum. it started out as a heated argument. and went on to a proper quarrel, and then i tried to resolve it into a heart to heart talk but failed terribly, tried to turn it to a heated talk which still failed, and then i just slammed the door. after i said 'will you listen to me, mummy?!' and she said 'no' and looked away.

so it really wasn't a quarrel. at least i tried not to make it into one. i'm trying to improve on myself. and look at her. okay no, that's just plain bitching. okay i'm trying to improve on myself, but i don't think she is. i don't need to see her trying, whatever she does just tells me so.

you know what, WHY THE HELL AM I STILL TALKING ABOUT HER. i promised myself to calm down and not talk about her. and do proper work. and i failed. god I WILL STOP TALKING ABOUT HER.

okay another quarrel with my mum. and no, i'm not gonna swear. i've already promised myself not to swear when i'm pissed. and i've been doing pretty good at it! i think the last time i sweared was ages ago. i think. good for me.

i'm extremely pissed right now. i'm not swearing! haa.

and all she does is complain to her dear husband who in fact, isn't listening to anything she's saying. see, that's what i mean by having too much to say! i keep trying to tell her, and she's not listening. she has so much to say. too much. she wants so much control. and she is so sarcastic. you know what, i'm just simplifying this whole matter in a few sentences. so i won't break down in tears again. or type out an uber long blog post.

but this quarrel is way worse than the last one. but i'm seriously trying to have some anger management. but the thought of her still thinking she's right and telling everybody pisses me off more. it pisses me off more than quarrelling with her.

MY MUM = EMILY OF EMERALD HILL(modern version)
ME= OPPOSITE OF RICHARD.
MY BROTHER= WORSE OPPOSITE OF RICHARD.

that is why she's going mad faster than emily really is. strange why both my brother and i don't turn out like richard. we're probably have brains to think.

and my brother's still pissed with me. over stupid piano scoresheets. and my attitude towards him. why does everyone in the family think i'm starting to have an attitude? i have NEVER.EVER attituded with my brother. why would i? only when he's being an idiot. i seriously would never consider being a fucker with my brother. cause he's just.. i don't know. i just don't. my mum is losing her mind, so i'll just leave her be for the time being.

oh well, no 10 oclock dramas in the room. if i was a violent brainless asshole, i would've either:
1. slap her
2.kick up a fuss and leave the bloody house
3.be throwing things about now
4. slap her more

but no, i'm not a violent brainless asshole. although the slapping her thought came across my mind. i never had to restrain myself. cause the thought was immediately cancelled. i would kill myself if i ever dared slap her.

my brother would sooner or later slap her. he said so many freaking hurtful things that's really probably slapping her in the face a million times. and the only reason she hasn't woken up? she's just like emily! deluded.

i'm scanning this post for swear words. i barely see any!! omg at least a little sense of achievement there.

and only stupid people would call this bitching about my mum. i am not bitching about my mum. i do not bitch about my mum. and i rarely bitch.

LALALA SPAM.

hmmmmm, let's see what should i talk about. oh yes, BAND.

band was weirdly weird yesterday. that marvin guy took us. shit i need to stop saying 'that marvin guy', it's mr. khoo. omg the surname 'khoo' sounds sooo 40s. like he's so old or something. he's only 25 in fact, i think.

okay band was satisfying and a little strange. especially the breathing through your diaghram part. okay i have no idea how to spell diaghram. yeah so marvin went around to each person and asked them to breathe to see if they're breathing through the diaphragm(i think that's the correct spelling). and when he got to me, i had trouble breathing through my diaphragm. dammit. he had to ask me to 're-breathe' like what, 20 times?! then he finally got the trombone mute and pressed it against my stomach and asked me to breathe. very, very weird. and pretty embarrassing.

but band after that was satisfying! i didn't talk, i didn't get called out for a bad reason like to shut up or something, i could play the notes, and so it was all good.

AND OMG I DIDN'T KNOW DESOUZA SMOKES!! :O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O
janine was telling me that's why his teeth are yellow, i never noticed that! omg i can't believe he smokes. and i heard marvin too. :O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O

okay yeah so i got home and quarrelled with my brother over score sheets and being a useless pianist and for i don't know what reason, but i was angry the whole night. i desperately needed something to stomp on and smash. ANGER MANAGEMENT. and then i received and email saying that the croke park dvd is being sent. so i got a little happier.

THEN THIS MORNING TO REALISE THAT I WOKE UP AT 10 REALLY PISSED ME OFF. i hate waking up late, i need to wake up early! i don't know why. when you wake up at 10 you feel that half the day is gone or something. so i normally get up at 8 or 8.30.

but i found out that rhydian's debut album is at number 3 in the charts right now even with Guns N Roses and The Killers releasing their albums on the same day. awesome. well obviously, The Killers are at number 1 and GNR's at number 2. GO RHYDIAN!

i have piano class at 5.45-6.45, terrible timing! i'm gonna miss my 5.30 drama. i'm so happy i have proof that i'm not white-washed. i watch chinese and hongkong dramas and i love them! well this 5.30 drama's not so good. but the 10pm hk one is awesome. love it. oh and the way brits say awesome is just weird. awesome isn't a british word, it's so american and it's so weird how the brits say it. they literally pronounce it was 'awww-soum' weird.

today's full of randomness. i need to eat lunch now.

damn, see why've i been posting so much in one day. THIS IS THE THIRD POST. i'm super uber bored.

i've been talking to leanne. and i'm so super pissed. well not pissed. it's annoyed. i used to be ego about how good i am at music. okay, fine, VERY EGO. now, i'm like, exactly which part of music am i good at? and i don't know. i don't see any part. i pick up things fast. but that's not called being good at music. and i'm being honest. picking things up fast is just about brain capacity and whatever. not musically talented. or whatever.

SO I NEED TO BUCK UP.
yes.
i've decided i do want to make it to SOTA, or something if i can. i don't know if this is after band camp HIGHNESS, or is it spur of the moment thing, or am i dead serious about it. but i know i'm dead, dead, dead serious about wanting to learn the saxophone.

back to watch my hongkong drama:D

i'm so sorry dorcas got 234 for psle. and as selfish as it may seem, sad for myself too. i'm too selfish. but it's true. i realise it's all about me. I don't want her to go to an ah lian school. I don't want her to put too much stress on herself. I know she can do well. I think she's working hard. I want her to come to SCGS. oh well.. now she's going back to pl secondary. i have no idea how things'll turn out like. hope for the best.
I HAVE JUST REALISED THE DAY I'M GOING TO LAOS FOR THE MISSION TRIP IS THE DAY OF THE X FACTOR FINAL. sheeesh. unlucky me.

and i finally have an ambition! thanks to leanne. I WANT TO BE A BAND CONDUCTOR OR TROMBONE TUTOR. i did want to learn how to play the saxophone. i was so dead serious about it, i just smsed desouza. but he said it affects my embouchure greatly. dammit, i'm never going to learn the saxophone. lucky leanne who gets to learn the flute, i can't learn the sax. the sax is amazing, i've always wanted to play it since i was a kid when my mum bought the Kenny G CD and the 'Dying Young' soundtrack with that awesome sax song. and then i've just heard 'nothing's gonna change my love for you' on the sax, it is amazing.

why did i go to the trombone section? because that's what my mind told me to do lol. and i don't regret it duh. desouza almost assigned me to the percussion section i still remember and i went 'huh..' and he said 'okay then which section do you want to go to' then i pointed at the trombone section and said 'uhhh.. trombone' some spur of the moment thing my mind told me was right to do.

average salary =2.5k-12k. depending on ability. i mean, if i were to be just average, i would be earning $5000-$6000. THAT IS GOOD! like i mean, most people who actually wanna follow their 'heart' realise that their dream job doesn't give them much money. $5000-6000 is enough for me, and i'll be happy. happy and able to support myself. awesome.

that's settled. i can't believe i'm thinking about ambitions lol.

okay i didn't elaborate on band camp since i was so freaking tired! well it was just the adrenaline that put me through, and then it died off and i was back to deluding myself that i was super hyper. when in fact i just slept for 2 hours. well it's a long time for me, i don't sleep in the afternoons/mornings/evenings/early night, whatever, lol.



i know what i love about this band camp. i know exactly what i love about it. and that's rare okay! i'm not indecisive, i'm so decisive, but i just don't know what i want. cause i don't even think! nevermind, moving on.



i think it's how the trombone section bonded. and how i'm determined to improve and constantly reflect on myself. i realise i lose my mind so easily. literally, like i don't even think when i'm doing stuff. wenhui told me she asked me to stop skipping and i just said wait and continued laughing and skipping.and janine tells me how i always ignore when she calls me to shut up. it's not selective hearing! i don't even realise it. i probably have ADHD and i just don't know it.

and i'm so sure that the trombone section can go back to being the first. work hard and stuff. instead of playing games for section bonding, we really screwed up. like leanne and i were so self-absorbed. so i've learnt another thing, to be less self-absorbed!

yeah but we made up by talking till 1am, better than playing games. much better. it's good to just talk things out and know what each other has in mind. i think that's the way the section truly bonds.

so yep, TROMBONE SECTION RULES! and we're gonna be number one again:D

i've only got one thing to say: I LOVE BAND CAMP!

yep, that's it. like many things happened, mostly bad but it all turned on the second night. and basically i feel much better now, after tons and tons of talking. so i've things to improve on, i get that.
1. FOCUS.
i know i'm slow, that's bad enough.BUT i need to focus. i can't look down at the ground and be doing my own stuff and listening to brando talk at the same time. FOCUS. and i can't think of too many things at the same time. FOCUS.
2. SELF-CONTROL.
no talking anymore. no more laughing randomnly during band prac. don't talk back to brando/de souza, although it's a habit. don't keep staring at the ground although i'm listening. LOOK UP. don't talk, seriously. SELF-CONTROL.
3. BEHAVE
get back that good impression people used to have of me. from what it is right now, which is terrible. AND BE POLITE.


YES SO I'VE GOT THAT! and yep, that's what i learned during band camp. oh and that sleeping bags are comfy if you're in a freezing cold hall. and that i need to learn how to bathe faster.

I'M PLAYING THE BASS TROMBONE! that's one thing i got. WHOOOOOOOO! okay i shan't complain and be like, 'shit lah, so i'm always playing 3rd trombone. so boring' well i was like that on the first day. well the first time i heard i was gonna play the bass trombone i went 'huh? WHAT.' i like the bass trombone, but i hate the fact that it's so freaking old.

i've changed 4 instruments in a year. out of them 4, 3 of them were super uber old. i got one of the oldest instruments at the start of the year, it spoiled. i got the OLDEST instrument. then changed to Wenhui's instrument, WHICH IS AMAZING. but the slide is so yuckyyy. i probably just don't know how to oil slides. and then now i get a bass trombone, which the thing above the bell is so scratched, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S A CHINESE FOREST PATTERN! those branches, and flowers and stuff.

but i love playing the bass trombone:D better than the tenor ones.

i'm not exhausted at all. and i have no idea what to do either. oh well.

it is so funny how blacks think whites are racist but in actual fact, discriminate whites too. and i thought they hated being called 'blacks' or 'niggers' but they call themselves blacks and niggers. oh well.. random.

ummm so basically after yesterday, i'm back to a lifeless person. not exactly. i did 20 questions of math!! hahahahahahah. and nothing else. slacking on the comp. smsing sarah. and nothing else lol. i'm thinking of going out after tuition today, since there's cell group and my mum's away. but on second thoughts, nahhhhh. i'm way too lazy.

i haven't called HMV in 3 days, hope they remember me! well they better, cause i'm gonna call them when i get back from band camp. that's the first thing on the list. i've nothing better to do now. besides go on the comp. oh wait, i did watch Kungfu Panda with my bro earlier this morning! freaking funny. quite slapstick, but it's alright. get smart's still wayyyy funnier.

I'VE GOT FANTA GRAPE!!!!!!:D and one small can costs $3.60, amazing. probably if i weigh it right, it's more expensive then a bottle of bacardi breezer. o.o

i don't know why, i've this habit of droning on and on and.... OH SHIT A BIRD JUST LANDED ON MY WINDOW. shit, now i'm typing seriously slowly and haha i just got back from running away from the bird and now the bird's gone. phew! okay where was i?

nowhere. i have no idea what i'm talking about. i haven't memorised colonel bogey yet. shit, shit. i'm so dead. i will right now!

yes, so i'm in scott's house now. while the rest of the guys are getting the food done. so we can bbq together. while i'm here slacking with rey. and camwhoring like shit. first time in my life i've camwhored so much. i don't normally camwhore, haha. wait, in fact, i don't camwhore at all!

and correction from previous post: my maid says she can't sleep WITH it. not without lol. okay i'm going to help out with the food!

so basically i'm blogging again. after i-have-no-idea-how-long of stoning at home. well, i've not been stoning! i've done 100 questions of math in 3 days!! ooh yeah!!!:D:D

and i'm gonna do another 20 today, cross-factorisation. i've turned into a hardworking soul! not really, i haven't touched school homework yet. and i'm dead tired of trying to wake up at 1am but failing.

TOMORROW'S THE DVD SCREENING OF..... 10 YEARS OF WESTLIFE!!!!!! AND GUESS WHAT! I DON'T GET TO GO! HA. =.= stupid. jodie and leigh are going. they're going to the birmingham one. wait, come to think of it, half of the byrnettes are going. to the london and birmingham one. god, stupid singapore. haven't even got news of the westlife dvd. :@:@

:O:O:O DESOUZA'S QUITTING! i thought he got fired, ha. but still, sad... kinda sad that i take a long time to get used to a certain person and to feel comfortable. and when i finally have, he's going. awwwwww. so you know, i'll probably have to get used to that new marvin guy, and he doesn't like sending people to bishan. oh well. whitley, bad bad memories. whitley sec school gives me such bad memories of ah bengs and sluts.

the useless bastard living upstairs is from whitley. he stole 2 of my phones, a few of my mum's phones, his sister, the whore who's probably slept with more than a hundred guys, stole my $50!! WHEN I WAS PRI.1! i swear, i could've cried. if i had that $50 from pri.1 right now i can preorder the westlife dvd, or go out, or preorder rhydian's debut album, or... buy scoresheets!:D but nooo, she had to steal it. and stole my maid's ring and put in my closet. making my brother accuse me of being a thief/liar for 4 years of my life. thank you very much, bitch.

AND I HAVE PROOF THAT THE WHORE IS A WHORE. the maid finds condoms in the bin every morning when she leaves the house. and they got a dog at home, but they make that poor dog pee and shit in the house and they don't clear it up. so currently, my house stinks of their dog's poo. disgusting.

so yes, i hate whitley for that reason. and my step sisters were from there! but i don't mind them:D

ummmmm, nothing much to say. I'VE GOT A LAVA LAMP!!!!:D:D i love it, and my maid complains that she can't sleep without it =.=, i just think she hasn't seen a nice night lamp before.

i've two more days before band camp! SHIT I HATE BAND CAMP!!! i don't wanna sleep at 12 midnight on the second day. i don't wanna do drills for 3 hours! i might as well die. i don't wanna go. but too bad, i've a mum who was a nerd in her secondary school days. so that's what you get.

i'm going on a bbq todayyyyyyyyyyyy!!:D

fine, i have decided to start blogging again. after eons of stoning.

nothing much to say, really. at first had lots, then there's so much that i'm forgetting half. okay, one thing. I HAD THE BEST HALLOWEEN EVER. although halloween's long over, and i should get over it lol. but noooo, i love halloween!

ummmm, so holiday's are packed with band pracs. and i hate the tuesday band pracs, freaking tiring. 12.30-6pm, hmmmmm, 5 1/2 hrs of playing, don't think i can make it. so yesterday's band prac i finally realised why i don't have enough air when i'm playing 'Into the joy of spring', i breathe through my stupid nose. yeah and some other weird reason of raising shoulders.

stupid saturdays!! there's band prac again, and then there's drills. yes, i know i'm super lag. i was desperately trying to hear that 'CHING!' thingy to start. then i realised i'm always starting late. that's weird. then i tried looking at when people start. the more i looked, the more laggy i got, dammit! so i decided not to look anywhere but front, then i tripped over my own shoes and got more laggy than usual. grrrrrrr. lol but thinking back it's pretty funny. it's ridiculous how some seniors were pissed. so some people probably thought i've attitude problems again, there we go again.

so basically i'm pathetically writing down bar numbers are like 4 songs now. i've written over 300 bar numbers! whoooooo!