i think never in the whole terrible week, which ends today have i felt so terrible today.

i went to check the E-progress thing on how im doing in class. i always thought im roughly average in class, and holy shit to my bloody shock im actually way below for everything except lang arts and physics. just plunged into some self-denial thing.

and then my mum started off saying "well, its fine. just try a lil harder"

i was a little comforted by it. but in the freaking end, she ended up the same. pressurizing me more, then what is the point of comforting me with her bloody fake comment?! 'well its fine just try a lil harder'?!?! i mean she barely means it. she asked me why was my history so poor i just said that its not about studying, its about inferring. and she said ' oh so your classmates are better at inferring?' fucking S.T.O.P comparing me to the class!!

and here comes rachel ang, being as extra as she is, quarreling with me over her character which in her opinion is perfect. long story.

all in all, its just the worst day of a bad week. and if every week were to be as 'eventful' as this one, i'd rather just.. i dont know..

but tonight im going to pray. and ask for direction on where to go. because i've lost my way. and i dont know how to carry the week on. its been a long time since i've asked for directions and seeked for an answer. how arrogant i was.