well well, once again, I HATE FRENCH. actually, i loved it on monday, because i tried to! it was kind of a self-deception thing ya know. hating french but trying to make yourself think you love it! or probably the other way round, LOVE IT but just putting an obstacle before yourself. i dont know which one.

but all i know is madame pang asked me to SHUT UP and said that i always clown around at the back and say i dont know my work. FUCK HER! oops i sweared, fine try not to. THE POINT IS, she asked me to shut up?!?! she has NEVER asked anyone in the class to shut up besides the 2 boys!! so im same rank as stupidity i guess. BLEH. and yes, once again, i have decided to hate french and stop myself from learning it.

the problem is, how do i tell mummy? she said she was so proud that i could learn french. she was proud of me and she said she thought i was doing fine as long as i pass. i feel SO guilty if i wanna waste her money and let her down. i dont know what to do..

today in piano class, I ACTUALLY IMPROVED IN AURAL! WHOOOTS! i did, i did, I DID! i could sing it in pitch, i could memorise it, i sang without fear. and know why? because i put away the obstacle i always put infront of myself that "NO, I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T SING. I CAN'T REACH THAT NOTE. I CAN'T REMEMBER. SHE'S RIGHT, I'M TONE DEAF" and FINE-ALLY! i put it away and just sang. YES I DID IT! im happy.

pastor wong is right, why put so many obstacles in front of you? so i've decided to clear them ONE by ONE!