i feel terrible today. and yes, i used my noise to cover it up. i kept on laughing loudly in band prac. i didn't really use my noise to cover my despairity or whatever the word, i just did it so after awhile i would be much happier. and it did work.

got reprimanded by mrs lee.. again. it was my fault, i agree. but i wasn't passing notes, at least! i was just lost in a world of my own, drawing and tracing out chinese words from the chinese "ciyu biao".

the thing is, mrs lee doesn't see the improvement christine, rachel ang and I have made. for christine is that she really did study for chinese and payed attention in most classes with rachel ang. for me, i did most of my math work, handed up my physics book and pay attention in lang arts. mrs lee just doesn't see the improvements, and IT IS TRUE that she mostly looks at the people at the back.

belinda and esther talk so much, but they never get called out! why? cause they're not sitting at the back.

i really am trying to change! i have been! the last week i have really been working hard to change. mrs lee doesn't see that either. most statements she made when scolding us were assumed. its only half true. argh.

but i dont feel vulnerable whatsoever. i just feel terrible. im determined to work harder to prove mrs lee wrong, again. she still thinks im a lazy bugger, which i probably am..

CAN'T WAIT FOR HILLSONG CONCERT!

new band teacher mr tan today was great. extremely loose and entertaining. learnt a lot, good teacher. almost kissed wenyuan today. i was holding on to her neck tightly, she fell. i fell second on her! OMG. luckily my hand supported myself on the ground. or else there goes my first kiss! holy shit.