am i a good person. A good friend?

this is what i've been thinking about.



why is that people treat me like crap all the time. i always say "oh they're cunts" but the fact is, could it be?



am i a very lousy person? that people hate me so much. why is it that the whole group treat me like that. and why is it that eunice is starting to dislike me? it is because i have a really bad personality and my character sucks? or is it really them.

i blame the people who treat me like crap, saying that they're the ones who are crap. Could i be the crappy one?

this is something that I found in my bro's blog:

Is it just me, or do people tend to cling on to their pasts?
I have absolutely not the slightest idea.
For a guy, in a social circle like mine, i think a lot
I do.
And when i do, concurrent, yet opposing, thoughts tear me apart sometimes.

Looking in retrospect, i realised that i probably was always deluding myself.
Stimulating my mind to think that what i had was something good.
Something worth dying for.
But as someone once said, "there was alot that wasn’t working."
And the truth of the matter was ugly as hell.
It brought me to absymal lows, and drove me into a state where i no longer knew who i was.
I am depressed at the way things turned out.
But somehow, my heart and mind is reluctant to express any emotion toward the matter.
Perhaps subconsciously, i have made the decision to erase any memory ever made.
Perhaps the pain was so terrifying, i shut myself off from anything related.I don’t know.
But what i do know is that in this short life of mine so far,
things have been going pretty well.
Some minor hiccups here and there, but generally, an increasing trend.
I am thankfull to the many who have stuck by me through times of trial.
Though i am not fully recovered, i can say that today, i stand strong.
Against all the trials and tribulations, i survived.
And even tougher than before, i face this world once again.
In search of a light that would once again bring warmth and comfort to this soul.
Strength comes from Him and Him only.
I thank the Lord each and everyday, for shining light upon my life each time i fall.
"A man is not worthy to live, if he has not found something to die for."


okay man that's so inspirational, right? i think so.