after talking to leanne yesterday, i feel much better. and MMUCH more determined to play the song. although i already am determined.

GO CHERYL!! and i'm posting this before school. ciao.

well after yesterday's hysterical blog post, i went to listen to "Big Fun in the Sun" on imeem.

http://www.imeem.com/refat/music/a9rl8oqL/david_marshall_big_fun_in_the_sun

dammit! if that's how it sounds like, practising till i ache would be bloody worth it! so right now i'm much more encouraged!! :D:D

saturday morning was just frustration, anger and bruised ego.





it was band. we received a new song, "Big Fun in the Sun". sounds like the worst title ever, but it's the nicest song ever.

the thing is, i'm 1st trombone! and yes, i was fucking happy!! but when i saw the scoresheet, i knew instantly i was gonna die. most notes above F. highest note is High F and there's about twenty of them. the starting goes like B and C, and D and E flat.





so fine, I can't play them!! during sectionals, i thought leanne would have at least HELPED me when i was struggling. but probably she found it a bore to teach someone a song compared to playing a song with someone else. and that someone else was Wenyuan. the two of them happily played the song together, saying "so nice! so nice!" and just kept saying that, obviously ignoring me, the fucking retard who can't play it yet.





i know i'm lousy, i know i can't play it, so would you just fucking help me out?!!? i kept struggling with the notes. i felt so frustrated. i love that song, yet i can't play it. i can't play it!





my ego was so bruised when leanne said "Wenyuan, you can play much higher notes than cheryl!" and blahblahblah. then she kept showing off how fast she can play during sectionals.





i have terrible tonguing, terrible articulation, and can't hit high notes. and i know that, so would you fucking help me instead of having fun with Wenyuan and calling me lazy.





leanne made emily angry and irritated without realising. i mean come on, emily's our senior! and so what if leanne's from DSA, we still have to respect our senior.





and when we played Blue Ridge Saga, or should i say, ever since we played blue ridge saga, when leanne and Wenyuan looked at my score, they would go "Oh my god, that's so easy!" or "Your score is so easy!" i know mr desouza gave me third trombone for a reason, because i'm the fucking worst. i finally realised why he didn't give me second trombone.



and i just felt so terrible, i went inside the toilet to escape from sectionals. at first i just stoned there, then i started crying. cause i felt like the ultimate worst. which i know in that section, i am!



and then when i brought my trombone home, in a better mood, i decided to practice. including today, i practiced, too. but it doesn't fucking help! i practice and practice to find that i can't reach that bloody note which Wenyuan and Leanne can reach so easily. i squeeze and squeeze, i blow and blow to find that i can't fucking reach that note!!

i just practiced until i sweat like mad, even my necklace was wet, my hair was wet, i was drenched. but did it help? hell no! why the hell can't i play that piece.

mr desouza sat next to me during the band prac and asked "Do you think you can reach the notes?" i said "Practice, lah" and he said "Good"

and fuck yes, i've been practicing. but it's not helping. if by thursday i can't play that piece, i'll end up being frustrated and quarreling with leanne again. because none of them fucking wants to help me.

and i don't wanna look lousy in front of mr desouza. first i get third trombone for blue ridge, second i can't play first trombone in big fun in the sun. i look bloody lousy! and i hope i'm not that lousy.

i just dreaded that sectionals so much, because i was tired, and i couldn't play on anymore. and i dread thursday's band prac, too.

terrible headache. missed french. watched "I am Sam", cried my heart out.

"i am sam" is such a touching movie, everyone should watch it. it's not exactly excellent, but it's so thought-provoking. can a mentally challenged father really raise a child? is love all they need?

and the thought about foster parents. if you take a child away from his father, you will be taking an enormous part of him/her, a part he/she will be trying to fill up for the rest of his/her life. and can foster parents really give a child stability? and even a mentally challenged father has feelings. and no parent is perfect. but really, is all they need love? for Lucy to have a happy life. She was seven, but what will she do when she turns 13 and above and her friends laugh at her? Doesn't she need a proper family, not a retarded father. But I would say yes, all you need is love:D

I think "i am sam" would make a great literature movie:D

and i didn't know richard marx was handsome in his younger days, resembles the young richard gere.

well, today's sunday. and school reopens tomorrow! i probably can wait, but it's that thrill. i haven't been in school for almost a month! and well, maybe going back isn't such a terrible thing.

but the terrible thing is, I haven't touched my french AT ALL. i haven't completed my utopia, and I haven't started on the Monologue. Biology isn't exactly done, SCRIPT IS DONE!

and i can't wait to go back to school tomorrow, especially 3rd lang. although i haven't done my french homework. i really, really wanna get my test results back! even if I fail, my mum's not gonna scold me. So I'm just a little anxious.

and yesterday, to celebrate the last night of the sleeping late holiday, I went to Dorcas' house for a sleepover! we slept at like 2am.

actually, by 11pm, we were already in bed. but we kept talking and talking.. then at 12am, I asked Dorcas to sneak the laptop in from the living room. So we quietly crept there and sneaked the laptop in, but just when everything went successfully, I slammed the door shut! And we quickly hid the laptop and went to bed. Aunty Hannah did come and check on us.

and Dorcas left the Internet turned on, so there was a flashing light in the living room. She didn't want Auntie Hannah to wake up.

then we knew she suspected something was wrong, so we loudly opened the door and made a din and went to the toilet. so at least Uncle Fong and Auntie Hannah would think that we just wanted to go to the toilet. And then Dorcas rushed to the table and turned off the internet. we were just watching my westlife dvd anw.

But just when we went back to the room and turned the comp on, ready to play the dvd. there was no dvd player in the fucking laptop!! so in the end we just put it aside, frustrated, and went to sleep.

woke up at 6am to watch it, tho. but too tired to enjoy lmao.

AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR NEW STUFF TO HAPPEN TOMORROW! I CAN'T WAIT!!

Being called by jieting to do this quiz
1) What is that connenction between eu and the last person that called eu?
sister.

2) Do eu ever turn ur cell phone off?
I lost it, and when i tried calling it, it was off. so, that counts i guess.

3) What happen to 10am today?
watching xinshanghaitan. it's goooood.

4) When did eu last cry?
last night lol. argh, what a crybaby!

5) What is ur favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
bread, defo. nice combination and i love it!

6) What do eu want in ur life right now?
more affirmation and a closer relationship with God, and DISCIPLINE.

7) Do eu carry an umbrella when it rains, or eu juz put in ur hood?
none, i just get wet!

8) What’s ur favourite thing to have in ur bed?
BLANKET!!!

9) What bottom are eu wearing right now?
FBT's. and it's kaijun's.

10) Whats the nicest text in your inbox say?
I don't have my phone, right now. but i remember the starting "it's true, 'time and tide waits for no men'" and then i forgot.

11) Do you tend to make a relationships complicated?
regrettably so.

12) Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
good question, right there. fbt's.

13) What was the last movie you caught?
online? online would be the gameplan. watched it TWICE lol. once in cinema, when it came out cause i love dwayne johnson!

14. What are you proud of?
my own achievements, and my life. not myself, but my life.

5. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say ?
as i said, NO PHONE!

16. What was the last song you sang out loud ?
mandy by barry manilow.

17. Do you have any nicknames?
ah lim, shawn hery salty lim, daryl, mrscaucasian, mrcaucasian.

18. What does your last received text message say?
something about the chinese juben.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
almost 12.

20.Are you currently happy?
very.

21. Who gives you best advice?
God, Dorcas, brother.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
hell no.

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
I didn't!

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Yes, many things. but not that much. :D

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh ?
Ant & Dec or my brother:D

26. Do you wear toe socks?
nope.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
I have no idea. phone gone.

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
Yeah, couple of times. maybe not as much as 10. i don't count many things as heartbreaking.

29. What annoys you most in a person?
Conceited-ness.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
No, currently not.

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
No, and I hope i NEVER will.

32. What is the colour of your room?
white, pink bed. white table, white closet, wooden light brown shelves.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
I wouldn't kill.

34. Do you believed in the saying "talk in cheap"?
I have no idea what's that saying.

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
My brother.

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
I don't hug people.

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
I don't kiss either.

38. Do you have a life?
Yes, defo.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?
Grammar wrong, btw. lol. hmmm, in my dreams, yes.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
Profile song?

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
I forgot.

42. Last time you smiled?
Just a minute ago.

43. Have you changed this year?
Defo.

44. What are you listening to right now?
Clay Aiken- I will carry you.

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
No.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
OPEN.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
No, no motto either.

48.Do you want someone you can't have?
Huh?

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
Piano, drums, TROMBONE!!!!

50. What was the worst idea you've had in week?
Not doing any work and sleeping at 2am. and yes, i did that!

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
In my bro's room, doing nothing. oh wait, watching the videos he was watching!

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
I don't have one. and I'm glad I don't.

53. What song describe your love life?
I don't know, many many songs could. hmmmm, can't help falling in love? i mean, IF i had a love life.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
I don't have one.

55. Who always make you laughs?
lots of people, especially AAD!!!

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
Chinese, FRENCH!

57. Are you blond?
No, and I'm glad I'm not.

58. What your middle name?
I don't have one.

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
Shopping, tuition, eating.

60. What do you think you are like?
too long to describe.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
Ooh that's tough. Either my parents, my brother, Dorcas, or Ant and Dec! hmmm.

62.Where have you been today?
Home, all day long.

63. What game do you play often?
I'm not exactly a gamer:D

64. Who are you missing right now?
Dorcas.

65. If you've to choose between friend & love, who will you choose?
I don't know. Both, i guess? maybe when I grow up I'll know

66. What are you doing right now?
DUMB QUIZ.

67. Which primary school are you from?
Singapore Chinese Girl's School.

68. Name 3 colours that you like.
Orange, Green, Black.

69. What emotion you like to show?
Happy!!:D

70. What is life to you?
Precious, and full of meaning.

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Think about it, pray and continue thinking.

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
Molly.

73. Who do you admire the most?
MY BROTHER!

74. Which month are you born in?
October.

75. How are you feeling right now?
Impatient and anxious.

76. What is the time now?
3.18pm, the worst time of the afternoon.

77. Where are you now?
HOME.

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
I don't dye hair. Maybe streaks but hell no to dye.

79. Why are you doing this test? to relieve stress.

80. What do you do when you're moody?
Slack and be rude. Awful habit.

81. At which age you wish to get marry?
I think 24-25? Or if i'm unlucky.. 27.

82. Who is more important to you? Boyfriend or friends?
I'll have to wait till I'm older to decide!

83. Do you think you have enough confident?
Certain times definitely yes, yet sometimes it just goes away.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
I don't know.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
I've seen it before! But even with no rain, too!

86. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
I have no idea, really.

87. What is your goal for this year?
To actually solve all my friendship problems, to get closer to God, don't daydream in sermon, and to do well enough to stay in SY!

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
I don't know.

89. Do you believe in aliens & miracles ?
Yes, to both. But doubtfully yes to aliens.

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
OF COURSE.

91. What feeling you hate the most?
Jealousy.

92.You cherish every single friendship of yours?
I hope so because I don't know so.

93.Do you believe in God.
YES..
94. Who cares for you the most?
I don't know.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Living it.

96.What'll you bring when you fight?
Self-preparedness.
97. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
Hurting my father's pride. And I still regret that, think about it many a time.

98. What would you feel that no one no longer cares for you?
I know people care for me, so I won't ever think that

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
Find out why.

100. What do you want now?Security. more security i think.

Instructions:Remove 1 question from the above add in your own personal question, and bold it.Next, list 10 people whom you would you want them to do this, at the end of the post.Notify them in their tag box that he/she has been tagged.

I'm not doing what the instructions said!

god, this is getting stupid. but i'm bored today!

Q1) If your lover ever betrayed you what would your reaction be?
It would definitely be shock, then comes the tears and the breakdown. but i think after a month or so I'll be fine. not as in a month of crying, a month of thinking about it. But first, I would call him up and ask him why he cheated on me, and stuff going on.

Q2)if you had a dream to come true what would it be?
to actually be a presenter(like ant and dec) in the uk. and for people to actually take note of GLOBAL WARMING. and if you're talking about right now, i would actually want to lose weight. no, not go anorexic, but go on a healthy diet instead of eating french fries everyday and supper before going to sleep. I WANT TO EXERCISE!

Q3)what is your dream proposal?
well haven't i said this before, what luck. well i want him to bring me to this really nice restaurant, doesn't need to exactly be posh. and there would be a stage in front. so he and his band would go up and sing "Can't Help Falling in Love" and then get off stage, and propose to me. WHOOOO!! and when i agree, we would sing a set of songs together, all the songs we love and just have fun with it, don't matter who's listening. and after that, we would go out and have a day's fun.

Q4)are you confused with what lies ahead of you?
No. I don't know what lies ahead, but i know God has a plan, it may not always be nice but it'll eventually turn out good:D

Q5)which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved by someone, aren't we all selfish?

Q6)how long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
i believe he will come when he comes, it's not up to me.

Q7)if that someone you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
hell no i'd get over him!

Q8)is there anything you've been unhappy about these days?
yeah, communication problems and the same ol' problems.

Q9)is being tagged fun?
I guess not?

Q10)how do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Extremely happy, successful and it doesn't matter if i have everything in the world. i see myself right now as extremely happy, and that's going to stay the same!

Q11)who are currently the most important people to you?
My family especially my brother, dorcas, and some few special friends.

Q12)what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Nobody tagged me =.=

Q13)would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
well this is tough. i think i'd rather be single and rich. there's a loophole, you didn't say for an entire life. so i would go single and rich first.

Q14)what is the first thing you do every morning?
Pray. Before i brush my teeth and stuff.

Q15)would you give all in a relationship?
YES, defo. be it first relationship, or the ones that follow. even if i've had a bad experience, i'll treat every relationship as something new, fresh and good. i won't even think where i'll end up.

Q16)if you fall in love with 2 ppl simultaneosly , who would you pick?
well that's quite easy. the person whom i think is most suitable for me and has a most chance of working out. because sometimes i can fall for an idiot, so there goes!

Q17)what type of friends do you like?
this is long... loyal, trustworthy, fun, good sense of humour, playful, crazy, mature, ambitious, but most importantly, somebody i can relate to.

Q18)if you were given the chance to turn back time, would you?
No way, although i've had many regrets, I wouldn't ever want to change my life.

Q19)whats the last thing ud do before dying?
Tell those that I love that I love them! and them being family, special friends, and ANT AND DEC! And pray to God. tada!

Q20)what would you do with a billion dollars?
1/4 goes to charity. i would bring another 1/2 to africa and build schools but most importantly, kill off all the rapists! lol. and then the remaining 1/4 i would spend living in the uk. not idling, but i would fly to the uk, shop, shop shop, and then find i job! hey that rhymes:D

Q21)what is your ideal lover?
well just like my brother. except less unpredictable. he must be fun, crazy, outgoing, fit, all-rounder, presents himself well, knowledgeble, same music taste as me! which is hard to find. soft at heart, thoughtful, caring, sensitive, emotional, confident, must be able to relate to me well, romantic, sociable, mature, boyish, athletic, hopefully christian and a real faithful one, honest, understanding, rash. just one bad point, rash. yeah i don't know why, but it makes it more fun, innit?

Q22)what is the worst you've felt these days?
insecure and jealous. god, that really gets me.


so there! boring quiz, again. but i don't mind doing these again and again!

okay, so i decided to kick off a fresh, new 101th post, with hopefully 99 more to come with a new quiz. i've never done quizzes so this is new. which suits new 101st post.


1. When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, what's the first thing you say?
Wow, my hair looks different! Is it nicer?

2. How much cash do you have on you?
Probably $70? but i can't spend it. my mum really dislikes me spending all my money. but that's what i do, splurge!

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
WEST.

4. Favorite planet?
Jupiter. Got a nice name, innit.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I lost my handphone man. And I just found out 4 hours ago.

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
I think it's Desperado by The Eagles.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
A red one.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
I don't get you, "label"?

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Well this is stupid, i'm AT HOME. why would i be wearing shoes? but just 10 mins ago, just for your info, i was wearing mickey mouse sneakers! and i love it!

10. Bright or Dark Room?
definitely bright! i've got pink blanket covers and pillow covers. imagine that, but it's a nice pink. not the girly pink. i've got all my drawings surrounding the ceilings. colourful ones i used to draw when i was 10.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
well i have no idea, i think i was still on the computer. looking through all my jude law pictures, and talking to aisha, too.

12. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Auntyyyyyy!" that's what i always shout when i'm home, so she can open the door for me:D

22. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
Major regret, of course. but to get a million bucks for being a good person because i decided to change that major regret would be great!:D

23. Do you like someone?
well, uh no. I know, pretty weird. I'm stuck in between, I guess.

24. The last song you listened to?
I don't know, Ant and Dec's "We're on the Ball"?

and i found this quiz on christine's blog which apparently she took from her mate winne's blog. but i shall use it anw!

okay that was boring. darn i'm gonna do my geography!

yes, this is finally my 100th post. in my other blog, it's the 143rd post when i changed it. and in my first blog with the most regrets, it was more than 300 posts when i deleted it.

well i've just finished watching ANTM on YouTube. and i can't help but still think about what aisha said to me last night. she said that the moment she hears math, she gets sick of it. so i ask her what's her favourite subject, she said it was drama. holy shit, drama?!?! i didn't know they actually take that as an exam!

she said she's taking a GCSE for it. wow, amazing. and she told me her ambition is to work in ITV or BBC. the irony of it all, BBC and ITV are head-to-head enemies. i think?

yeah so she said that i should actually work in a TV station in singapore and i might get transferred. oh come on, get real. first of all, working in a TV station doesn't get me much. and there's no hope of ever getting transferred.

probably when aisha gets a job there probably she would help me get one? :D:D

okay so i woke up at about 8.30 today. early, eh? yeah just cause before going to sleep i told my maid to wake me up at 8am lol. but i delayed for about 1/2hr.

piano tuition today. not looking forward to it, i haven't practised for TWO weeks. and my exams are in... 1 months time, great.

something's really happening. i realise i don't talk to my primary school friends. at all. anymore. well actually just a few, wait not even a few! maybe just some random chats here and there. i'm drifting away from all of them.

just went to read cheryl tan's blog. so she was still very close to geena, kit ju and joyce pek. they call each other, they go to each other's houses. the thing is, i wonder why can't i actually connect with my primary school friends.

i know although my interests are really different, i don't like chinese songs, i don't like taking pictures and i'm not into chinese singers and taiwanese bands and singers and stuff. i'm not into elmo, or mainstream music, or anything they're into. there must be someway i can actually connect with my primary school friends!

AND I SHALL TRY!!!!

so i decided to go to j8 after all. and i thought, if i get my clay aiken CD, i can't have my chocolate truffle and i probably won't find my ant and dec book.

who knew, the moment i stepped into the CD shop, i heard clay aiken's "because you loved me". i was like oh defo, it's in here somewhere. and it was!!! this has happened TWICE.

the last time in hong kong, uncle thierry, my bro and I were in HMV. i was looking for my westlife CD. and like whoa, i heard westlife's "something right" and "i'm already there". and did find it.

and then i went to the library. to look for my ant and dec book for the 7th time, trying my luck again. I FOUND IT! WHOOOOOOOOPEEEEEEEEE! so i returned simon cowell to the dumpster, lol if ya know what i mean and then borrowed ant and dec. in a good mood, i bought chocolate truffle as well!

HA. good one. and i realise something. the last time i went shopping with my mum, i found that westlife CD in the shop "Sembawang" and i thought YESYESYES! there can't be anything better than this. then i went to the library to borrow some books. i thought i'd try my luck with the search engine. so i just typed ant and dec, waiting to see a "NIL" or something. i actually saw something! and i begged my mum to let me look for it, so i went from 1st level to 3rd looking for it. AND I FOUND IT!

this time, too. i found my clay aiken CD, thinking 7th time? no big, i'm sure i still can't find that same ant and dec book. and i found it! next time i think i should always buy a CD before i step into the library to find a book! lmao.

and i finally talked to aisha. we talked about BGT, and she said she couldn't stay online for a long time cause she had GCSE. i figured out it's either something like PSLE or O levels. but they have A levels, at least right. so it's the same. she supports signature! like i do. unlike the other half of the british nation who actually voted for george sampson. GOD! i still can't get over it.

oh well, today's a happy day. although when i unwrapped my disc, i found that it was broken. then i went "clay aiken you're broken! and your broken disc broke my heart!" i was extremely gutted to actually find out that it was broken! but oh well i guess that'll be a trademark:D

okay, this is tough. i've opened up my blog. no longer private. so, currently everybody can read my blog including my mum, i think. unless she's still a little dumb in the head.

the reason why i've decided to open my blog... well it's simple. i'm lazy to have to type in a password to view my own blog! so there, not hard to figure out is it.

i wanted to go to the CD shop to buy Clay aiken's CD today but.. my lazy bones got me. so i'm currently blogging then. called dorcas but she didn't pick up. listening to clay aiken now, then. i'm bored..

actually, i quite wonder why i have a problem with caring about people. i don't know.. i've hurt so many people along the way. well some of which i have probably forgotten. dorcas is one, i know she's got this idea imprinted in her head that i have never cared about her feelings. well that was past, it isn't that serious since i cleared it up. but she still thinks i'm a little ignorant.

dawn from primary school was one. she thought i was just another person who wouldn't understand how she felt, which in the end caused the lack of communication and currently, we don't talk anymore. and i haven't cleared things up with her. molly's one,too. but i've cleared up.

but the things is, i'm tired of having to clear up stuff all the time. not that i'm tired of apologising, i'm tired of people getting the wrong idea of me. i'm tired of worrying if this person has that opinion of me again and so on.

god i just can't be bothered to even write down the rest. lol no, it isn't too 'heartbreaking' to write down the rest lol. i'm just, well why think about it. i know i have to solve my communication problem and my showing care problem. it's just a matter of time, and probably i decided to let it drag a little longer on the way of trying to clear it up.

like just two days ago aisha said "hi cheryl" through msn, and i didn't reply. because i knew if i reply, it's as far as it would go.

it would go like this "hi cheryl", "HI AISHA!", "how are you?", "yeah pretty much fine, i guess? lol" "lol", and then we would talk about ant and dec and after awhile realise i have nothing more to say and it's just a blank. i just black out, and i don't know what else to say! i don't really know how to start and carry on the convo.

god i need to clear this problem! ah nevermind, i'm just gonna do my geography now.
ciao!

first of all, starting with the band camp. it was exhausting, but i actually loved it! really did improve a lot on my trombone, i think. and the last day's training was exceptionally fantastic. FUN, FUN, FUN!

and i'm officially on my way to being a Claymate. = a fan of Clay Aiken. so i'm a Claysian, really. just that all clay aiken fans are called clay mate, but tyra calls herself something weird like clayestian. or something far off.

Clay has got a phenomenal voice! and he's a nerd :D:D well that was what he looked like when he stepped into the auditions of AI2. but i think he's got an amazing voice, i love it first, second and third album. they're both hyper cool, AND I WANNA BUY THEM!

so i will, but i'm watching america's next top model on youtube now. but note, i'm NOT in love with america. although it's a sudden rush of clay aiken and america's next top model, i still love britain. but i'm just waiting for X factor and "Wanna Bet?" .

i'm currently quite frustrated that i've been slacking through this holidays. my mum has suddenly popped up an idea of stuffing me with geography assessment books on the last week of the holidays.

she is unhappy that i spend morning and night doing projects. she regards projects as what, primary school projects that if you're not done with 3 days, you're slow? that utopia thing is KILLING everybody. i've got that monologue proj, bio and script. i've got so many, and she thinks it's so easy so she thinks i've been slacking.

so today she just dumped newspapers, chinese book, vocabulary homework, geography notes for me to do. PLUS unaware to her, i still have projects to complete. i mean why does she really think it's that simple. she says she's been giving me many days to complete. excuse me, those days include going for tuition and going out and going to school. so she's only gave me an actual week.

and i just borrowed a simon cowell autobiography from the national library! it's pretty funny, but i'm in no mood to do that now. I HAVE TO COMPLETE MY UTOPIA. which i think is possible. i'm more than halfway there already:D

so that's to cheer me up, halfway there.

I just realised, I AM EXTREMELY ANNOYED. no i think annoyed would be too much of a.. strong word. i'm pretty... frustrated.

i wish TheSun papers would be selling in singapore. because i've been missing out on lots recently. lots of important stuff. like ant and dec :D:D and x factor, and well i dont know. lots, i already said.

and i wish they'd sell uk magasines, why don't they? i know singapore doesn't really care about british stars and british stuff, but why? it's not that boring, is it. to look at kate moss giving ant and dec a makeover! in fact, it may be fun to look at.

just a random thought. off to do my work then! kate's not been online for a long time as far as i'm concerned. i don't know, nicola(haven't talked to her since what, december?) suddenly talked to me and said that the quote i had as my msn name was nice. she went "haha. nice quote" then i didn't know what to say!

i have nothing much to talk to her about, unlike kate and aisha. the nicer people. no, not really lol. then my palms went sweaty and i asked kym what to do. she just laughed. MEAN KYMMM.

okay nevermind, enough about that:D

YES SHE PROBLEM WITH CLEARING SALIVA.
during band, as usual i pressed the water key to release condensation. which is partly saliva:S

it was some normal routine i do every 10 mins or so. then FUCK. somehow, my scores flew off the stand and landed on that puddle of saliva on the floor! OHGOD, it got soaked in saliva! SHIT.

disgusting. SOAKED IN SALIVA and i had to clean it, of course. next time i swear, im going to clear my saliva nearer to wenyuan so it wouldn't EVER wet my papers again.

i promised leanne that i'd watch jumong so she'd watch britain's got talent! :D:D not a bad deal at all. too bad ant and dec's saturday night takeaway have been taken off youtube. stupid ITV, like why would they claim copyrights. everybody knows ant and dec is ant and dec and nobody's pretending that that's their show. if that makes sense:S

so anw, off to do my work!

i plan to unprivatise my blog.
but the only worry is, my mum would come up with another cracking idea and start searching for my blog.
well not her, but my dad or other cell group members. they already found my bro's blog! they found my blog too but luckily i had privatised it.

i wonder when will one of her cracking ideas pop up!

i have no idea why am I so free today, i'm pretty disappointed with myself. why am I not doing any work? and at night i have to give my mum and excuse on what i did throughout the day! it's horrible.

well lemme think, tomorrow mummy decided to bring all of the cousins out. except freddy and benjamin, they're too old for that.

so dominic, marilyn and kaikang can make it! along with my bro and I. we're gonna eat dimsum for breakfast, go shopping, then eat fondue for snack! *yummm*

amelia's gone for course. i bet its some modeling course. i wish she'd just get real. she would never succeed as a model. a successful model needs to have personality and charisma. its not all about the body and looks. or the confidence.

and in singapore? a model? hoho, that's hard. especially a bimbotic model like her. she used to be pretty. but now she just looks bimbotic. it's impossible for her to 'live the dream'!

what's the use of a model with no brains? she can't even pass an exam! she doesn't have brains AT ALL. brains are indeed very important wherever you go. i wish she'd just concentrate on her studies, and probably when she graduates then start modelling!

oh well, going to study french now!:D je ne comprend pas francais.

its pretty sad. well, how band has turned out. not that i dislike band, or anything so.

everybody's fighting. EVERYBODY. i've never seen such a big group of people fighting before. and its not because "we know each other so well and that happens. like a conflict in a family".

we dont know each other well, and that is exactly the reason why we fight. i dont think its because our personalities dont match or anything, maybe so but there isn't anybody out there that fits us to a "T" i guess.

are we really an attitude batch? like ms leong who came to conduct. t-bones were making a lot of noise. can't help it and when we shut up. nobody else bothered to talk. when ms leong asked questions, nobody bothered to speak. is it really true that most of us hate band?

when ms leong asked if we were in band because we liked it, i think i dint see too many hands up. is what mr desouza said true? that we come to band for the sake of it and then after band we just leave, forgetting everything.

i don't know. just hope things turn out better after awhile. maybe the band camp's a good thing! :D although im missing church camp! well i dont really like church camp anyway.

i wish the sec 1's in church won't keep sticking to their seniors in sec 2 to 4. first of all, i wasn't in church choir. only abigail and I weren't in church choir. so everybody in church choir is very bonded, yes i understand that.

its hard for abigail and I not to feel left out. im pretty okay with the sec 1's in my batch but when they mix with the sec 2's, i dont know what to do. i dont even know what to say to the sec 2's. if i saw one of them in the bus i'm most likely to say "hi" and walk away. i really have nothing to say to them!

and there's just this awkwardness between the guys. the whole hx, dorcas and I thing has spread all over the church including to the adults. and once, dorcas and I were walking to the coffee shop and we saw the guys including hx. then the guys whistled and said to me "aiyah, you dont be dian deng pao la!"

i felt uber extra. like dorcas and hx, and i'm the extra.

nevermind, about these sad thoughts! going to listen to happy music:D

pretty much crossed with jack. again, with his ahbeng-ness.



he keeps comparing me with mei po. keeps saying "she second in class ah, your mum no face okay"



like hell? she's in bishan park secondary, if i were to go there i'd probably be first in class. and my mum knows that. he always says my mum is demanding and scary. but where did he get that idea from? my mum just wants me to try my best, not BE the best. and my mum never complained about my results and called him up to ask what is he doing like other parents. he just thinks that because i only want tuition two times a week for 2 subjects that time.



because surprisingly, his other students go to him once a week for all subjects, i have no idea how! i'm not like them, then! as i said, all his students are in normal tech. they just wanna pass. and that once a week is enough for them to pass, i guess. he can't compare me like that. keeps insulting my mum.



he doesn't even teach properly anymore! he even said "you 260 what 260, should be 206 lah!" just because my math is poor doesn't mean i'm a 206. that's the whole purpose of tuition, excuse me.



he just taught me factorisation 15 minutes ago and expected me to know. in the first place, he didn't even teach me. he just asked me to look at examples and start doing. and then when he said the thing "i thought you say your algebra very good one leh"



i got fucking pissed. why is he always assuming stuff? i didn't ever say my algebra was good. just that in pri.6 i didn't want to go to him for math tuition. that's where he got his fucking idea from. the same thing goes for my english. he also said "i thought you say your english very good, so far never give me any masterpiece yet ah"



what masterpiece does he want me to give him? i dont even go to him for english tuition! i can bloody hell give him a masterpiece if i wanted to, which would knock him out. he gave me a few of his students compos, saying that those "very good". looking at it, i almost fainted! very good? its pri.4 standard and they're sec 2s! i worry for them.



yeah so i got pissed and said "who said?" he said "your mum say one mah! say you go for what algebra course" is he dumb? too ahbeng that he has become dumb? that course was 7 months ago, for basic algebra. i doubt he even understands the meaning of BASIC.



so i got more pissed, i raised my voice and shouted "I FORGOT. IT WAS.." then i realised i was shouting and loosing my cool, i went back to normal and said "7 months ago"



then he just brushed it off saying "where can forget one! must be that course not deep enough lah" so he thinks only he's good? that i can't do without him?



then when he just "taught" me factorisation within less than half an hour he just said "aiyah you lousy lah!"



how does he expect me to learn something within less than an hour without even teaching me properly? i barely did 5 sums! so i said "i just learnt it for more than 15 minutes, how you expect me to learn!"



i raised my voice slightly again. then he said "i thought you supposed to be very fast-learner?"



then i said "no matter how fast i am its impossible to learn within 15 minutes!"



i get he didn't understand proper english again and so he brushes it off AGAIN saying "why cannot. maybe my expectation of you too high"



like, fuck off man! i didn't ever say that i'm a fast learner, he assumed so again. and it's very hard for me to communicate with him cause whenever i ask a question in proper english and not chinese he wouldn't understand but pretends he does and gives an answer that has totally no relevance. when i ask again, he would give a slightly different answer but still irrelevant.

that lunatic ah beng. dont know how do i live through another lesson with him!

yep, sunday was darn fun. LOVED IT!

well the morning started with quite a disappointment.(ooh i finally spelt disappointment correctly!) sigh, the moment i woke up in my bro's room. i immediately went to check wikipedia. to see the BGT results. FUCK! i was, still, will forever be suuuper angry.

george sampson won! like was he good? NO. he's just a loser, like leon(winner of x factor. unexpected in fact.) with a sob story.

this has happened like twice. in the x factor, everybody thought rhydian would win hands down. the bookies bet all their stuff on rhydian. it was written in The Sun as the biggest tv shock. DUH. why would some stiff jazz singer win when we have rhydian! the true star with charisma, confidence, stage presence, showmanship and THE VOICE. ...

well anyway, signature came in second. which wasn't bad! although i wanted signature to come in first, followed by escala. but nevermind. just extremely EXTREMELY angry.

so anyway, after church, the whole BS class went to huimin laoshi's house! OH MY GOD! it was so fun. she has the new Wii game thingy. it was hyper cool. we kept playing and playing and eating pizza and spicy drumlets. and drinking whatever we could. when stuff ran out we ate her potato chips. it was SO fun. especially when i beat everybody including jie ting in the Mario Kart game.

then, mummy and daddy picked me up at about 5.30pm. we were gonna watch a movie! with my bro and eunice! YAYYYYYYYYYY. eunice is pretty:D:D

the new narnia movie ROCKEDDDDDDDD. it was that good! yes, it ROCKEDDDDDDDDD. and i dont mind saying it again. it ROCKEDDDDDDDDDDDD. :D:D

but eunice had read the book so she knew what was going on. I LOVED IT! and the best thing about narnia is that it always has a happy ending. i hate movies who make me leave the theatre crying. yes, its a good movie to be able to do that. but i hate feeling sad after watching a movie. that's what i dint like about "Troy" and some other extremely good movies. that's what i loved about "Anger Management". it had such a happy ending.

by the time we reached home, was about 10.40pm. dead beat. wanted to go jogging with my bro today. he couldn't get up. neither could i. so now its too late to go jogging, and so im blogging! hey, it rhymes :D:D

gonna watch BGT now. and wait for X factor. this is how it goes.

April to June- BGT
July to December- X factor
July- Wanna bet?
January to March- another ant and dec show

then the whole cycle repeats itself! good on me:D