okay, this is tough. i've opened up my blog. no longer private. so, currently everybody can read my blog including my mum, i think. unless she's still a little dumb in the head.

the reason why i've decided to open my blog... well it's simple. i'm lazy to have to type in a password to view my own blog! so there, not hard to figure out is it.

i wanted to go to the CD shop to buy Clay aiken's CD today but.. my lazy bones got me. so i'm currently blogging then. called dorcas but she didn't pick up. listening to clay aiken now, then. i'm bored..

actually, i quite wonder why i have a problem with caring about people. i don't know.. i've hurt so many people along the way. well some of which i have probably forgotten. dorcas is one, i know she's got this idea imprinted in her head that i have never cared about her feelings. well that was past, it isn't that serious since i cleared it up. but she still thinks i'm a little ignorant.

dawn from primary school was one. she thought i was just another person who wouldn't understand how she felt, which in the end caused the lack of communication and currently, we don't talk anymore. and i haven't cleared things up with her. molly's one,too. but i've cleared up.

but the things is, i'm tired of having to clear up stuff all the time. not that i'm tired of apologising, i'm tired of people getting the wrong idea of me. i'm tired of worrying if this person has that opinion of me again and so on.

god i just can't be bothered to even write down the rest. lol no, it isn't too 'heartbreaking' to write down the rest lol. i'm just, well why think about it. i know i have to solve my communication problem and my showing care problem. it's just a matter of time, and probably i decided to let it drag a little longer on the way of trying to clear it up.

like just two days ago aisha said "hi cheryl" through msn, and i didn't reply. because i knew if i reply, it's as far as it would go.

it would go like this "hi cheryl", "HI AISHA!", "how are you?", "yeah pretty much fine, i guess? lol" "lol", and then we would talk about ant and dec and after awhile realise i have nothing more to say and it's just a blank. i just black out, and i don't know what else to say! i don't really know how to start and carry on the convo.

god i need to clear this problem! ah nevermind, i'm just gonna do my geography now.
ciao!