okay forget all the things i said in that hysterical post. i love band, i love big fun in the sun, i know i can do it, i'm on my way there, leanne's not horrible, wenyuan's not horrible, and i love sectionals. and i know that third trombone isn't the worst. so there, phew.



i'm just real pissed with my mum. i told her from the bottom of my heart, finally. "mummy, i'm actually thinking of quitting french"



and she doesn't allow me to quit?!?! her reason is, "you should have listened to us when we told you not to take."



it's not even valid. i SHOULD have, but i didn't. so what you want me to do huh? the reason why i insisted on taking is that i didn't want to live the year thinking "damn, i coulda taken french" i wanna take it, if i can't, drop it, thinking "At least i tried, and it sucks"



why doesn't she get that? she's not wasting her time and money. and just when i was about to explain to her what i thought, she just took her bloody bag and walked away. and i said "MUMMY CAN YOU NOT WALK OFF AND LET ME TALK" and the fucking reason she gave was "I need to eat dinner and call korkor's tuition teacher"



oh, so listening to her daughter's opinion isn't important, clearing things up so we both won't spend the night angry isn't important? i realise whenever i talk to her, she'll either ask me to stop wasting time or just hurry up with my work and stop talking before she flares up.



if she considers me talking to her a bloody waste of time, FINE! i shall stop talking to her! she should even be glad that I keep wanting to talk to her. not in the whole of the past two weeks have i been able to talk to her. why not? because she finds it a waste of time!



i've thought about how i would disappoint my parents when i quit french. cause they're really proud that i can, cause my bro can't. but i can't take something i don't like because they like it. i know this isn't all about me, me, me. but it isn't about them.



i realised in May that i'm taking french just because i think it's a cool language, a language very few people in Singapore know. oh it's so cool. that's all. not because i'm interested in it or i really like it. so i do plan to quit no matter what my mum thinks!

and tomorrow's band prac. i can't, can't, can't wait!! yay! because i'm no longer struggling with high D!!! yippeeeeee!! i'm still struggling with high F, but so what? YAY!