i'm feeling very afraid now. very, very afraid. i haven't felt like this for a long time. well, afraid isn't the word to describe it. but..

i just went on Facebook. and Nic left me this message, asking how life's going and stuff. hope i've not forgotten her and she heard that i'm in band and all. i.. i don't know how to reply her. it's just really awkward.

it's like one moment i'm hating her, cursing her for screwing up my bro. the next moment i'm missing her. and pitying her. and thinking about her. then it's just i hate that bitch all the way. and now thinking it through again, i really do miss her. i'm not saying i don't like eunice, i love her!! but it's just that nic brought something different. well, she did bring lots of trouble. lots of anger. lots of tears. and all the negative stuff.

but somehow, she was different from eunice. not saying that in a good way, or a bad way. god, i don't make sense.

somehow, i've just been trying not to think about her. but now she's left me this message. i.. don't know what's going through my mind.