just watched titanic. it didn't make me cry. it made an impact on me. it's somehow different. some movies just don't make an impact on you after you watch it. titanic made that impact:D

uhhhh i haven't done homework yet. i'm dead. and i haven't bought desouza his card. dead again.

waiting for an sms from robert jr.

withdrawal symptoms.................

laos. everybody in laos is happy. genuine. and simple. like a poor, smelly, third world like utopia. if that makes sense.

then i come back to singapore. faced with lots of negativity.

i was playing 'God is Good all the time' on the piano and i missed laos like crazy. we played a film with lots of the pictures we took with that song on the christmas celebration, and everybody clapped and did the ohohoh thing.

that saturday was the best day ever. i sat on the motorbike with robert jr that day. the best thing ever.

sighhhhhhhhhhh,

I LOVE LAOS SO MUCH!

the whole trip was just beyond words. okay i will need to talk about what's the whole purpose of the trip. obviously, it's a missionary trip. ROBERT JR. BECAME A CHRISTIAN! long story.

okay my mum invited them after the party on saturday to come to church with us on sunday then we'll go out and eat together, so she gave them our address. only a few people like alfred, robert jr and hannah wanted to go. so we were pretty disappointed. then on sunday morning, we saw loads of other classes students coming, and like none of our class people were there. then suddenly... WE SAW A TRUCK FULL OF OUR CLASS PEOPLE ENTER THE HOTEL! george stood up and shouted 'MUMMYYYYY!"

george is this really adorable gay. he is 101% sissified, the way he talks, body contact, even the way he runs. and when we were supposed to blow balloons to decorate the class he used them as fake boobs. awesome.

yeah so in church i was talking to robert jr about john 3:16, trying to evangelise. hahahahahhaa, SUCCESSFUL! a few of them did the sinners prayer thing. i was pretty happy.

sad to say, that really wasn't the highlight of the whole trip. there's no highlight! everyday is just HYPERNESS!

our class name was "The Best", obviously, the ego had to have come from somebody.

our cheer:

THE BEST, GO GO!
THE BEST, FIGHT FIGHT!
THE BEST, WIN WIN!
*cheeeeeers*

everything and anything leads to this: *clap* OH *clap* OH *clap* OH! hard to explain, but yeah.

and i've actually learnt how to dance. laos people love dancing!!! so on the second or third day, we went over to robert jr's dormitory and just started blasting music. random people just came along and joined the little party. so there was robert jr, ken, steven, peter, john, lisa, anna, parti, peckee, and loads of people!

and they didn't let me try laos wine. it's called lao lak or something like that. BUT I TRIED BEERLAO! without them looking. they're all super protective. so i had zero chance to drink alcohol.

ohoh and there was a christmas party on saturday, so our class, wanted to go to buy ingredients to cook papaya 'slad'(supposed to be salad but that's how they pronounce it). so five students picked us up at 4am and we went to the morning market together!

imagine that! waking up at 3am. and i learnt how to cook! AND I SAT ON A MOTORBIKE! finallyyyyyyyyyy. robert jr and i secretly went out, he brought me to the market, to the university of laos, and to his parents place. i did get caught by my brother later on :/

this whole trip is just so hard to put into words. the bond i have with the students, i'm just so emotionally attached to them! i'm still smsing and emailing loads of them in fact.

i love laos so much! and i'm going back next yearrr! i promised robert jr anw.

i'm flying off to laos tomorrow! just got extra scoresheets from esther, who is extra helpful.


very excited for this trip. looking forward to not looking forward to it. looking forward to being scared of dirty bathtubs and bedsheets. on second thoughts, THERE MAY NOT BE BATHTUBS OR BEDSHEETS OR AIRCON. dammit. looking forward to being disgusted too.

as in seriously. i need to stop being this pampered little idiot who can't keep her own bed, can't fold clothes properly, can't scoop rice properly, cannot cook a single thing, doesn't want dirty bathrooms, doesn't like dirty walls, doesn't want to sit on old chairs, wants clean tables wherever she goes, scared of bigger than ants insects, doesn't want to eat food which look gross, very picky with food, clean cutlery, etc. i practically want everything to be clean, except myself. seriously, i don't mind if i go there and don't bathe for a week if the bathroom's dirty.

so i hope i return from laos as a less pampered little idiot.

and i'm very pissed with band politics. especially with certain people. you know i never liked doing this. doing the 'certain people' thing. it's so pathetic and lame. why am i doing it now? i don't know but i can't stand it anymore. why bitch about your juniors? and most of the people you bitch about are actually nice people. everyone has certain points you can't stand, but don't go around bitching about practically everybody you're unhappy with. not talking about myself here, although i know certain people who hate me to the absolute core.

but this sucks you know. juniors having to fear being bitched about by seniors. it is so tiring, so pathetic.

oh and there goes, i'm probably going to get bitched about a hell lot again.

watching x factor has just made me realise how much i take westlife for granted. i take their talent for granted. they're so good at singing, great harmonies and stage performances.

then i watch x factor. i watch that group jls. they're shit. if they ever do a great performance, i'll be watching it all week. like they did michael jackson's the way you make me feel, it was so good i was watching it all week.

then every westlife's performance is good. but i take it for granted, if i see an excellent performance which is better than anything i've seen, i'll watch it for a few days then forget about it. THANK YOU X FACTOR FOR MAKING ME APPRECIATE WESTLIFE MORE. sheesh, here i go again. mwahahahahaha.

watching the croke park dvd. if i'm in a good mood, somebody's gonna receive the croke park dvd for christmas:D and that person will thank me after watching it! so ego.

you know what, i had no idea how tiring this laos mission trip could be. and it hasn't even started! there's 32 songs to practice with the guitarist. my brother. obviously the worship leaders would think it's easy. my brother's working in my mum's office morning to night. and for what? for fun. and so that he can go shopping with eunice.

and obviously, there are idiots, literally, like my mum who think it's a simple job. i had a piano concert today. i rehearsed in the morning, in the afternoon and then went. come back, i am mentally drained and you want me to rehearse for the 32 songs. i understand, i only have a week left and i haven't fully mastered the songs. and when i say i'm tired and i'm overstretching myself you say... "so? you have 32 songs leh". what...?!

and then there are idiots like i-don't-know-who-planned-the-programme who wanted music during the singing in devotion. ?!?!?!?!?!?! i know it's nice to have music! but they make it sound like such an easy job. so now i've extra songs to learn because somebody wanted music during devotion. maybe it's just not a church habit, but we never had music playing during devotion.

i'm only sec 1! wth can i do?! and i actually feel bad complaining. it's a mission trip. and i'm here complaining about how much work i have to do. i actually dread going to toilets without doors. mosquitoes crawling over me at night. no aircon, no proper bed. everything! i'm too pampered. and i have to stop it. more trips to kluang would do the job.

i bet when i get back to church after the laos trip, i'll have to do sharing. i already have stuff to share! like how... idiotic idiots can be. no, hahahaha just trying to vent anger. but i know i'll definitely have learnt loads. the last time i went on a mission trip to kluang, IT WAS AWESOME! bathing in toilets which smelt like shit and using pails to scoop water to bathe. teaching the children english. falling off the swing twice. getting grumpy and moody due to the dirty-ness and rundown-ness. learning to cope with dirt all around me. learnt so much!

hmmmm, wonder how dirty laos can get. oh well... i really shouldn't complain. looking forward to it actually.

ohoh I WENT FOR ANOTHER HAIRCUT! my brother couldn't stand my weird hair. so i went to cut my fringe:( no it's just... weird-er.

CONCERT WAS AWESOME! I AM SO EGO! I THINK I WAS AWESOME! seriously. whooooooooooooooooooo! before my turn came, i was walking all around and stuff. being so nervous, talking to everyone possible. let me see the people i've gotten closer to and the people i've got to know. jia hui, chaowang, jonchi, lydia and vincent i got closer to. i met sarah and kai wen and the teacher's two sons. awesome. after the concert was this after-concert 'party'. well the teacher calls it a party. it's just food and talking. my brother and eunice came. so we ate together with the piano people. then they slowly went off.

CONCERT WAS AWESOME! yippeeeeeeee. so ego. too ego! now my ego's becoming more undeflatable. only my bro can deflate it. and janine!!:@

band tomorrow. how the hell am i gonna tie my hair with such a weird fringe. i'll look like either a cleopatra failed wannabe, since i don't have bangs, or peiyi, the girl with the WEIRDEST hair in the world. eeeeeeeeeeeeeks. now i hate my hair.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! I CUT MY HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
and i love it! well it looks weird, but it's so me!! weird = me! my hair = weird! i love it. and it only costed $30, worth it man!

moving on to angry topics. WESTLIFE DO NOT SUCK. THEY DON'T. THEY'RE NOT FAKE. THEY'RE NOT ENGINEERED. THEY DO NOT USE AUTOTUNE. ONLY IDIOTS LIKE MICHAEL BUBLE USE AUTOTUNE(although i love him).

READ WESTLIFE'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY. and i will give desouza, marvin and brando each a westlife dvd for christmas! grrrrrrr, how dare they say westlife suck. me and take that DOES NOT equal to them and westlife. omg grrrrrrrrrrr.

and it served desouza right for getting stuck in the school carpark! with marvin's car behind him. and brando had to give directions. and my car was behind them. and my father had to help desouza's car out. grrrrr, serves him right. but while waiting for the car to get out, i talked to chloe and leanne in marvin's car.

CHLOE WONG IF YOU EVER DARE MENTION MY BLOG INFRONT OF THEM THREE I WILL SERIOUSLY KILL YOU!!!

okay moving on. brando's mouthpiece is so hard to use. i need to much air. it's so hard to pitch. gahhhhhh, ego deflating.. oh no. BUT THE MOUTHPIECE IS SO SHINY AND GOOD! I KNOW IT'S GOOD CAUSE IT'S BRANDO'S! oh well.. will have to practise harder then. i barely have enough air to play part B in die fledermaus. sighhhhhh.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I FORGOT TO MENTION LAST NIGHT. LAST NIGHT MY WESTLIFE DVD... ARRIVEDDDDDDDDD! omg the happiest moment i've felt in days. walking to the mailbox was THE LONGEST walk ever. 1. i've never walked to the mailbox to check the mail before. 2. I NEED MY WESTLIFE DVD.

so finally....... I SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT WATCHING IT! i swear i cried at parts. especially at the end at all their thank you speeches at the end of 10 years. i haven't watched the documentary yet though.

I LOVE WESTLIFE, MY HAIR, THE DVD AND MY TROMBONE!!!!!!!:D AND MOUTHPIECE.

I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! MY HOLIDAYS ARE BORING. to the max.
okay here's what i do everyday!

8.00pm- Alarm wakes me up
8.40pm- I get up, pissed that i woke up 40mins later.
9.30- I come out of the bathroom.
10-1pm - I play the comp
1-3pm- Eating lunch and playing the comp and smsing.
3pm-4pm- Teaching my maid how to use the comp. and msn.
4-5pm- Playing comp, watching tv, or smsing.
5pm- Bug my maid to go check the mail to see if my westlife dvd has arrived.
5.10- Serious tantrums and mood swings. No sign of westlife dvd.
5.10-5.30- Go on Facebook and get reminded of my BEAUTIFULL mouthpiece:D
5.30-6.30- TV DRAMA!
6.30-7.30- Dinner, and comp.
7.30-8pm- Comp
8-10- Work, talking to mum and dad and asking where my bro went again, tv, and a little bit of comp
10-11- TV DRAMA!
11-11.20- Dazing in bed or smsing.
11.20- Set alarm at 8pm. Fall asleep.

BORING?! YES, EXTREMELY. i need to get a life. i should go out jogging. OMG I SHOULD! YES I SHOULD! i'm going to go jogging tomorrow! AND I'M COLLECTING MY PASSPORT WITH MY DAD! HOOOORAY! AND I'M HAVING TUITION! AWESOME. busy day. finally. going to call dorcas to go jogging with me!

and i'm sad, i'm taking pictures of everything i eat. so i can send them in a letter to jodie to convince her to come to singapore. i seriously have no idea what's 'singapore noodles' they're selling in the uk. laksa? mee siam? o.o no idea.

!%$#$(%^#@(&%^&$ THE MERCHANT OF VENICE BOOK IS RIGHT ON MY TABLE! and i haven't read it! or animal farm. i need to do well in lit next year! that's the only thing i think i can do well in. i am SO SURE my math is gonna improve by leaps and bounds. i've been studying hard. doing hundreds of sums. i bet it's gonna improve. hopefully i won't be the last in class anymore.

hmmmmm, what should i do now? shit, i haven't gone shopping in ages. okay, i went shopping last saturday with my mum, my bro and his girlfriend eunice. i bought a pair of jeans from Desigual. My bro bought a couple of shirts which both eunice and i think are ugly. too loud! but he says he's very loud, so it suits him. oh well. i found his suuuuper nice shirt from Desigual, but my bro says it's friggin ugly. grrrrrrrrrrr.

serious withdrawal symptoms. where's my '10 years of westlife' dvd?!?!?!?!? I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 10 DAYS DAMMIT. I WILL COMPLAIN LIKE HELL AFTER WAITING FOR 14 DAYS. they said PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT THEM IF IT HASN'T ARRIVED BEFORE 14 DAYS. ONLY AFTER THAT THEN CONTACT THEM. AFTER 14 DAYS IT'S PROBABLY IN HMV STORES IN SINGAPORE, SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF ORDERING ONLINE?!!?!?!?!

i am so pissed now.

I GOT A NEW MOUTHPIECE!!!!!

well it's mr. tan's mouthpiece to be precise. AND HE GAVE IT TO MEEEE!! haha, no he didn't. he lent it to me until i can get used to his mouthpiece. then i don't know what happens when i do. hahahah.

but his mouthpiece... IS AWESOME. seriously. it's so shiny, it's so big. i think i sound a little better. but i need wayyy more air i think. i couldn't even reach high C?! so embarrassing. hahahahahahah. i'm just so high now.

I LOVE HIS/MY MOUTHPIECE! it's so shinyyyyyy.. so biggggggggggg. so unscratched. so nice. so light. so AWESOME.

whoooooooooooo!